Saturday, April 20, 2013

The difference between big dogs and little dogs.

There's a beautiful article floating around the internets called "A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year old)" The author is unknown so there's a small chance that the story is fiction, but another chance that the original article is missing and the author doesn't want the credit for it. Either way, Google it if you're interested in the full story... The dog's name was Belker. Not going to lie, the article made me cry... but what else is new?

The main quote from the story is from the 6-year-old boy who claims he knows why dogs don't live as long as humans:

'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'

The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

I'm pretty sure this kid has never seen (or read) "Marley and Me," but if you have a medium/large dog, you know exactly what this 6-year old is talking about. I've always said that I love big, fat lazy dogs. There is something about the company of a dog that is so comforting. They're always there for you. It's a little different with some species of little dogs...

Here are the differences between little dogs and big dogs:

1) Little dogs like to be dressed up in fancy clothes, boots, jewelry. If you tried dressing up a big dog like that, it would look at you like you're an idiot and then proceed to remove all of the garbage you just put on them.

2) Golden retrievers don't prance about. They have too much pride.

3) When you hear a little dog yapping and barking, you immediately think, "shit... it saw something move... maybe an ant, or maybe the wind just blew too hard... or maybe someone is cooking something within a 25km radius. Or maybe there's another dog somewhere on this planet and this little dog is pissed!"
When a big dog barks, you think, "Is someone sneaking into the yard?!"

4) Apparently, little dogs respond to baby talk... at least, it seems that way listening to their owners. Big dogs don't talk. They know they're dogs.

5) Big dogs are to toddlers what horses are to grown-ups. If your 2-year old sat on your Yorkie, the Yorkie would get squished, would squeal and then possibly bite your toddler. A big dog would be amused, but then would probably just sit on the floor and enjoy the attention.

6) A big dog cannot fit in your purse. Why would you want a dog in your purse? Why would anyone put something that can poo in their bag? It just sounds like a terrible idea!

7) If you're chopping vegetables and you accidentally drop a piece of sweet potato on the floor, a big dog will be there to gobble up all of the evidence and keep your floors clean. A little dog's mouth isn't big enough to eat a raw chunk of sweet potato. (disclaimer: I know dogs shouldn't eat human food, but I've seen the above first-hand, and it's pretty impressive).

8) If your feet are cold, a big dog can lay on them and keep you warm. Little dogs remind me of naked mole rats with whiskers all over their bodies... they can't warm anything.That's why they're wearing their Canada Goose coats and leg warmers.

9) You can hug a big dog and actually get the satisfaction of a good hug. If you tried to hug a little dog... well, it would probably disappear from your arms because it's too small. But you could try.

10) One day, if cats decide to form a coalition with each other and try to take over the world (which is completely possible... they are pure evil), all the dogs of the world (little and big) would join forces to put those two-faced felines in their place. Dogs are better than cats in every way imaginable - again, this is my opinion based on my life's experiences, and having worked in an animal clinic.

11) If your dog gets sick, it's the worst feeling in the world. It doesn't matter what kind of dog you have. Okay, so they have one thing in common. 

Maybe my opinions are completely biased, seeing as how I had a aunt with the Mariah Carey of Yorkie Terriers. She egged on this dog's behaviour which just annoyed the hell out of me, but everyone is entitled to animal companionship. No matter how old my boyfriend's Golden gets, she's still a (granny) puppy and is a full-fledged member of the family.