Hockey ... I've turned to the dark side

You know that saying "If you can't beat 'em, join em"? I've had to do it.

It's a shortened hockey season and yet I feel like it's been around FOREVER. The world is like non-stop hockey talk. Trade deadlines, Syndey Crosby breaking his jaw or whatever, teams trying to squeeze in a playoff spot. WHEN WILL THE MADNESS END?!

So I had enough.

I've watched and studied all 4 seasons of FX's The League, and I was pretty sure that I could turn this into some kind of a game. So when my boyfriend set up a fantasy hockey league for our school I thought, maybe I could make this fun! I'll make a team, and we'll have a team name, and then I'll have someone to cheer for when there's a game on!

It seemed like a semi-brilliant idea. So I signed up, made my team name and started to sift through the bazillion players who had the potential to be drafted to my team (even though we don't play with a draft... we play with a player budget...). I only take players that are hot (points wise, not physical appearance wise).

They get extra points for being Canadian, extra points for being between the ages of 24-30 (because I figure this is prime hockey-playing age), extra points for NOT being injured, extra points for having a really cool name (or one that I can't pronounce so I get to make up a new pronunciation), and extra points for having lots of ice-time per game. It's a fairly good system.

Image from: hockeyjournal.com

So for only $10 I'm going to make myself not hate hockey so much. And yes, after setting my lineup I did ask "Aren't you proud of me?!" Seriously, this is huge. I've never spent so much time on TSN.ca in my LIFE.

Dougie Hamilton -->
Canadian? Check. He's a young spring chicken but he looks like Jesse from Breaking Bad... so that gets extra points. Congratulations Dougie (which I originally thought was pronounced "Doogie"), you've made my team!

Fragile XX Syndrome

Yesterday I made a comment, telling my boyfriend I had taken care of something financially-related, and followed it with, "Aren't you proud of me?!"

It's the same question I asked when I mentioned last week that I hadn't had a breakdown over exams yet: "A whole week and I haven't had a breakdown yet! Aren't you proud of me?!"

So a male friend of mine asked, "Why do girls always ask if we're proud of them? Why do they want us to be proud of them?"

I had to think about it for a few minutes. I think, I just want to do things that make him happy. Not things that stunt my growth as a human and a girlfriend. Habits are hard to change, so when we do something new for someone else, it's a big deal!

There are many things that I'd rather just "sweep under the rug" than deal with, so it's an accomplishment when I actually deal with it. I haven't freaked out majorly over exams in over a week! That's HUGE for me.

I remember the first exam period we were together, my boyfriend actually had to give me glycine to me calm down from a panic attack. He mixed it in my water bottle, sat me down at a table with soup and told me to study while drinking my glycine water.

In fact, I've only had one real breakdown this week and it had nothing to do with exams... just with what I call "Fragile XX syndrome." (not to be confused with Fragile X syndrome: a genetic disorder affecting the mental status and social behaviour of males).

Fragile XX syndrome, also known as "Fragile lady"... aka "Girlfriend PMS".

Symptoms include: moments of emotional instability, bouts of uncontrollable crying, difficulty making decisions without getting upset, fatigue, snapping at boyfriends for no apparent reason, making arguments that make no sense whatsoever to anyone except the patient.

Naturopathic treatment: hugs, cuddles, chocolate, wine (of the red variety), smiles. The patient must be reassured that everything will be okay and that although she is acting crazy (don't use these words though, because it will make her condition worse), that you still love and care about her and that it's okay to get upset sometimes. Most importantly, although she is very independent, she will also appreciate being taken care of. Oh, and don't forget to feed her!

Supplement with puppy hugs, teddy bears, twilight turtle light therapy, Melissa tea, Himalayan salt rock therapy, back rubs and kisses.

Contraindications to treatment: yelling, driving in traffic, disagreements, schedules, appointments, people in public and low blood sugar.

Here's hoping that this last week goes well!

Cry just a little...

Sometimes a girl just has to cry, and there's nothing wrong with that. It's actually pretty healthy. No sense in bottling up all of those raw emotions... I'd rather get them out than have them circulating inside of me causing river of liquid hot magma so destructive that I eventually explode like Mount Vesuvius. Yup, it's just like that.

I've come to terms with the fact that bottling up my emotions turns into self-destruction. So I have my "bottle-opening" mechanisms:

1) Crying in the shower: Sometimes when I just feel the urge to cry (with or without reason), the best place to go is the shower. I've talked to a few of my fellow lady friends who also do this on occasion, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in the "Weird and Neurotic" department.

The sound of the running water is loud enough to drown out (haha, no pun intended) the sound and you can cry as loud or as softly as you want. Plus it's so comforting to have hot water raining down on you, keeping you warm.

You don't have to worry about your makeup running or tears getting on your clothes because you're in the shower and it all washes right off. And then you walk out of the shower feeling "cleansed". Tears are gone, emotions are out and you're all squeaky clean.

2) Crying from acupuncture: Okay this one isn't as great as the shower because you're not at home... you're in an office, which is a public setting. I usually leave the treatment room with mascara streaks across my face, tears in my ears. Walking up to reception after the appointment, my eyes are all red and puffy, my hair is matted, I'm sniffly and everyone knows it.

It's one of those moments where I'm not always prepared to cry, it just happens. There are only a few select points that when needled make me cry with no warning. It overwhelms me and I can't control it. So for a few seconds I'm cursing my intern for using such a sensitive acu point and making me cry in the office. But after the needle insertion, when I'm breathing through it, I realize that this has been building up inside me, and my body just knows that it has to be released.

It's like when I take my 5-minute break from the world (which does not include YouTube), put my feet up and check in with myself, so that I don't overstress myself. So I guess sometimes, with acupuncture, my body just shows me what I need; And that, my fox friends, is a good cry.

We don't have to be so brave all the time. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves and tell the world to just hold their horses while we figure that out. If you're the type of person to stay cool, calm and composed in moments of great stress, make sure to give yourself that time to let it all go at the end of the day. Cry just a little... you'll feel better afterwards.

Procrastinating by learning

So exams are underway and I must apologize for neglecting my blog for the past few days, but a student's gotta study... otherwise she'll get kicked out of med school.

I don't spend every single moment studying, I do require breaks, and food and laughs. It's the only way to stay sane and make sure my brain doesn't spontaneous explode like a smoke bomb.

But I also realize that I have to spend that study-break time wisely, and so I turn to YouTube. I learn so much on YouTube. Granted some days I'll goof around and watch Jon Lajoie videos and stand-up comedy, but mostly I love documentaries. I'll share my favourites with you and hope that you will explore these channels while I continue to spend more time studying and less time blogging over the next 2 weeks.

Second runner up for most informative comic about an unpopular animal goes to: The Oatmeal for his comic on the Mantis Shrimp. He includes two YouTube videos and links to an ABC news story that I had to read to realize that this crazy thing does exist, and is a huge problem. It is the rainbow ninja of the shrimp world. Spoiler alert: watch a shrimp decapitate a crab... ridiculous!

Runner up for best documentary/learning experience while procrastinating: True Facts by zefrank1. Seriously, click on the link. His comedic documentaries have me laughing hysterically. My favourite is the Tarsier but other videos with honorable mentions are Sloths, the Echidna and the Angler Fish.

Image from: www.tarsier.com

And first place winner for the YouTube video channel that is teaching me so much about the world is: C.G.P. Grey. Seriously, I now know the difference between Holland and the Netherlands, and the difference between the UK, England, and Great Britain and that there are TWO sections to Ireland that are COMPLETELY different and then there's this whole "The Crown" thing which I knew existed because I'm Canadian and we are tied to the Brits and the Queen ... and they're on our money.

He teaches you about the world in 5 minutes and does it with easy to follow pictures and diagrams. This is how world news should be taught!

Most recently, Grey has taught me about the US electoral system and I have never been so confused about humans than after understanding how Americans vote for a president. It seriously makes no sense. And the whole tie-breaker thing? That's just crazy!

Next, I think I want to learn about the Vatican City and the Pope. I mean, Robert Landgon has taught me a lot, but Grey is a real teacher (not a fictional Harvard professor) and he's brilliant.

Okay, back to the books! In the meantime, I've put all the links in this post, so go learn all about The Tarsier and watch videos of the Mantis Shrimp... it'll blow your mind!

My modified paleo diet

Some of you will recognize this post of mine from FB yesterday. Right before making this delicious lunch I watched the TED talk on "Debunking the paleo myth" which just annoyed me.

Paleo lunch... it's not caveman food, it's delicious whole, homemade food: free range eggs, organic shallots, brussel sprouts and side bacon from my butcher.
Brussel sprouts are full of I3C - protection against cancer *POW!* They promote estrogen metabolism and helps its elimination, for all of those lady problems! *BAM!* It's a low glycemic index food and is full of fiber!! *KABLAM!* Not just a triple threat, it's a quadruple threat!

My delicious lunch. Took 20 mins to make... perfect for a study break.

 So my annoyance with Dr. Christina Warinner is that 1) she doesn't quite understand what "paleo" means.... 2) I know this because she actually advocates for many of the principles that paleo stands for. 3) Worst title ever for a TED talk... I'm pretty sure she only did it to get views.

In truth, I follow a modifed paleo diet. It's modified to my life as a reasonable lifestyle that I will continue for the rest of my life. When you have as many food intolerances as me, you never consider going back to eating gluten and dairy - period. 

For anyone who's interested in paleo, I tell them to go at it hardcore for 30 days. That means, following every "paleo" rule for 30 days and no cheating. After that 30 days you can decide how you want to modify it. Maybe you want to follow the 80/20 rule (80% of your days are paleo, and the other 20% are "cheat" days). For me, it's an 70/30 on a daily basis. 

Wait.. newsflash: some creepy guy literally just walked up on my yard, pressed his face against our kitchen window and started peering into the house. Yeah, okay, I did the stupid thing by opening the door and asking what he was doing (but I had my game face on and was ready to punch him if he attacked me)... to which he said he was looking for someone... seriously??? Who does that?! I can't wait to get out of Toronto...

Okay, back to my original point. I love my brown rice toast in the morning with either almond butter or eggs. I also eat rice at our school's cafeteria, and I love sushi. Really, those are my cheats. I've gotten past the days where I clarify every single ingredient with my waiter at restaurants and just order as clean as possible, but stuff gets in. The amount of unnecessary soy, MSG and sulfites in our restaurant food is astounding; but a girl's gotta eat and sometimes I'm just too exhausted to cook. 

I'm often asked what my paleo rules are. Everyone can follow their own version of paleo. I suggest doing your homework and reading up on it from a few different sources and then follow the diet. Here are the basics:

Guiding principles of Paleo:

- Eat lots of veggies- as many as you want really. I love steaming them.

- Potatoes do NOT equal vegetables. Except for sweet potatoes. White/yellow potatoes are just starch with no real nutritional value. It's like eating a bunch of empty calories.

- Eat protein everyday. This doesn't mean gorging yourself on steaks, but you should be eating clean lean meat everyday: free range chicken, turkey, game fowl, grass fed (pasture-raised) beef, bison, lamb, wild-caught fish (not tuna.. tuna are the top of a fish food chain and therefore are laden with toxins), pork is fine, but again, know your sources.  Go to a butcher and ask where the meat comes from. Oh! and don't forget your free-range eggs (if tolerated)

- Have some fruit. If you're trying to loose weight, limit yourself to one serving per day. 

- Nuts and seeds are nice snacks. I LOVE almond butter on celery and cucumber slices. Peanuts don't count... they're a legume. 

- No beans or legumes (including soy). Too hard to digest and soy is just a terrible crop owned by Monsanto, and is modified beyond belief. It's also a top food allergen.

- Use oils like EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) and coconut oil. 

- Coconut everything is amazing... coconut water (for hydration), coconut milk (for baking with or as creamer), coconut flour (for baking cupcakes or as a thickener). 

- No grains, no gluten. At all. I'm not kidding. You'll be amazed at how you don't feel so "weighed down" after a meal. You'll also feel full faster if you just have veggies and some meat for your meals.

- No dairy. Dairy in Traditional Chinese Medicine is "damp"-forming. It makes you gassy and bloated; it builds up mucous, it can depress your immune system, and you can get calcium from other sources. Milk does NOT do a body good. 

- No corn. It's a useless crop that Monsanto mass-produces. That includes corn oil, corn syrup... if a label says "sugar" or "glucose/fructose" and doesn't give the source of said sugar, it's likely going to be corn-based. Scrap it. It's inflammatory!

- No sweeteners... I use real Canadian maple syrup or honey as sweetener or for baking. Aspartame is toxic. I have an article I can post if you don't believe me. MSG is also toxic. Read all of your labels!

Those are the basics. Eat clean food, know where it comes from. Opt for locally grown foods if you can. Eat mostly veggies and make sure to include protein everyday, especially in the morning! It's not rocket science; it's not a restricted way of life. It's a happy tummy and a healthy body. Take care of yourself! You only get one body in this lifetime - treat it well!

The difference between big dogs and little dogs.

There's a beautiful article floating around the internets called "A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year old)" The author is unknown so there's a small chance that the story is fiction, but another chance that the original article is missing and the author doesn't want the credit for it. Either way, Google it if you're interested in the full story... The dog's name was Belker. Not going to lie, the article made me cry... but what else is new?

The main quote from the story is from the 6-year-old boy who claims he knows why dogs don't live as long as humans:

'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?'

The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

I'm pretty sure this kid has never seen (or read) "Marley and Me," but if you have a medium/large dog, you know exactly what this 6-year old is talking about. I've always said that I love big, fat lazy dogs. There is something about the company of a dog that is so comforting. They're always there for you. It's a little different with some species of little dogs...

Here are the differences between little dogs and big dogs:

1) Little dogs like to be dressed up in fancy clothes, boots, jewelry. If you tried dressing up a big dog like that, it would look at you like you're an idiot and then proceed to remove all of the garbage you just put on them.

2) Golden retrievers don't prance about. They have too much pride.

3) When you hear a little dog yapping and barking, you immediately think, "shit... it saw something move... maybe an ant, or maybe the wind just blew too hard... or maybe someone is cooking something within a 25km radius. Or maybe there's another dog somewhere on this planet and this little dog is pissed!"
When a big dog barks, you think, "Is someone sneaking into the yard?!"

4) Apparently, little dogs respond to baby talk... at least, it seems that way listening to their owners. Big dogs don't talk. They know they're dogs.

5) Big dogs are to toddlers what horses are to grown-ups. If your 2-year old sat on your Yorkie, the Yorkie would get squished, would squeal and then possibly bite your toddler. A big dog would be amused, but then would probably just sit on the floor and enjoy the attention.

6) A big dog cannot fit in your purse. Why would you want a dog in your purse? Why would anyone put something that can poo in their bag? It just sounds like a terrible idea!

7) If you're chopping vegetables and you accidentally drop a piece of sweet potato on the floor, a big dog will be there to gobble up all of the evidence and keep your floors clean. A little dog's mouth isn't big enough to eat a raw chunk of sweet potato. (disclaimer: I know dogs shouldn't eat human food, but I've seen the above first-hand, and it's pretty impressive).

8) If your feet are cold, a big dog can lay on them and keep you warm. Little dogs remind me of naked mole rats with whiskers all over their bodies... they can't warm anything.That's why they're wearing their Canada Goose coats and leg warmers.

9) You can hug a big dog and actually get the satisfaction of a good hug. If you tried to hug a little dog... well, it would probably disappear from your arms because it's too small. But you could try.

10) One day, if cats decide to form a coalition with each other and try to take over the world (which is completely possible... they are pure evil), all the dogs of the world (little and big) would join forces to put those two-faced felines in their place. Dogs are better than cats in every way imaginable - again, this is my opinion based on my life's experiences, and having worked in an animal clinic.

11) If your dog gets sick, it's the worst feeling in the world. It doesn't matter what kind of dog you have. Okay, so they have one thing in common. 

Maybe my opinions are completely biased, seeing as how I had a aunt with the Mariah Carey of Yorkie Terriers. She egged on this dog's behaviour which just annoyed the hell out of me, but everyone is entitled to animal companionship. No matter how old my boyfriend's Golden gets, she's still a (granny) puppy and is a full-fledged member of the family.

Sibling Appreciation

I've noticed a fair amount of posts and pictures lately that will have some nice quote about how important family members are and then follow it up with "Share if you love you sister." Really? I need to click "like," or "share" the photo/link to prove that I love my sister? It's so generic! She probably won't even notice that I clicked "like" or that I shared the photo.

What if you hate your sister?

What if she tore out full chapters of your undergrad textbooks and used them as kindling for campfires? Or hacked into your facebook account and changed your status to "married"... and included a photo of some random... and a sonogram. Or maybe she peed in your shoes and blamed it on the cat. Or stole your mail and started hiding all of your paycheques. Maybe she won the lottery and never told you. Maybe she slept with your boyfriend... and his dad. Or gives you Christmas presents that she stole from Dollarama. Or took every single pair of your shoes and sunk them to the bottom of Lake Ontario. Would she still be the best sister ever? No, definitely not. Would you still love her? Well, you may need to smack her first, but ultimately, yes.

Here are what my "I love my sister" posts would look like:

1) I will never forget the night when my sister watched The Ring and spent the night cuddled in my bed with the light on because she was too scared to go to sleep. It was a terrible night's sleep (seriously, have you ever tried sleeping with all of your bedroom lights on?), but I did it because I love her and I hate to see her so scared.

2) Because of my sister, I watched all seasons of "The Hills" and I can never thank her enough for bringing Lauren Conrad into my life... and Kelly Cutrone... and Ashley Paige... and Justin Bobby.  "This salad's like a party" is still one of my favourite quotes.

3) "I have a friend of a friend who can pick you up and drop you off in a field near our house." That's sisterly love right there.

4) There was the time we asked our mom to come shopping with us. Mom said she really didn't feel like going out, to which my sister replied, "Boo, you whore..." (as from Mean Girls). I was laughing on the floor for like 10 minutes.

5) There were times we had to stick together; like when we camped out in our backyard and the inside of our tent flooded. We were literally stranded on our half-deflated air mattress like Pi Patel and Richard Parker, until dad came to save us and our Tiger Beat magazines (haha, no pun intended).

My beautiful sister Amanda

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Granted, we hated each other as kids, but now that we're all grown up, our bond is stronger than ever. I can always count on her to make me laugh, and she can always count on me to listen to her when she needs to vent. There is no "perfect" sister, just one who's there when you need someone.

So I will continue to refuse clicking on anyone's FB post about recognizing how much I love my sis. She knows it, and I know it, and nothing else matters. If you want to tell someone how much they mean to you, do what I did: Make it personal, not like a Hallmark card.

Birthing like a warrior

While studying for a maternal and newborn care exam, I was so happy to read the evidence for my feelings on birthing practices.

There is only one thing I find more disturbing than watching women MMA fighters and that’s watching a woman give birth in the lithotomy position. Seriously. Jacked-up women fighting each other in a ring… it just seems so unnatural. It’s disturbing... As is our current birthing practices in hospitals. The lithotomy position is what we in North America would call standard: woman in bed, laying on her back, her knees pulled up to her shoulders with her hips externally rotated. Seriously?!? How does this make any sense?

I think what really makes me mad is that men (in history) have completely taken over this amazing part in a woman’s life. I mean, childbirth (is one of the many things that) makes us the warriors that we are. Why are we so afraid of it? Why does Hollywood depict childbirth as the most excruciating pain, like being tortured? Why shouldn’t we dictate how we give birth? I mean, why do we always follow the birthing plan of hospitals and not the one we want?

Okay, deep breath. Hold the phone. I personally have never given birth to a child. I completely admit that I have no experience with labour, other than watching my sister go through it twice. There’s a part of me that still believes it may be physically impossible for me to ever push a child out from down there; but hey, I’ve seen it on YouTube, I’ve seen in it real life, and if my size-0 sister can do it, I think anyone can.

So about those studies I mentioned… It was found that women who squatted using a birth cushion had a significant reduction in operative deliveries and a significantly shorter 2^nd stage of labor compared with delivery in the lithotomy position (Gabbe et al 2012). In another study, women in any upright position (squatting, kneeling, sitting, or standing per patient choice) had a greater chance of keeping an intact perineum than those in a laying position (Gabbe et al 2012). So really, if you have no serious health risks and no complications, you should probably consider an upright position.

I just can’t believe that our medical system hasn’t caught up with common sense. Haha, okay, wait, that’s a bit of a joke… I really shouldn’t be surprised. Someone just bombed a marathon (A what? A marathon!)… human society is f*%&ed up beyond belief.

But really, would you be more comfortable having a bowel movement if you were laying back in a recliner? No? You mean, it wouldn’t be easier to bear down while leaning back? This is what Oprah would call an “Aha!” moment.

Any mother out there reading this may shake her head because I am nulliparus, but I stand by the fact that when it comes to my body, I’m a warrior, and I don’t plan to lay back in a ridiculously awkward position while pushing a kid out. I will take charge, have a birth plan and be the boss of my own body. Hypnobirthing? Sounds amazing. Sitting in a warm bath? One of my favourite things! Acupuncture and herbs to move labor along? Sounds right up my alley. Much better than getting drugged up, snipped open, and forced into an uncomfortable position while pushing against gravity.

Have no fear! Welcome labour like the adventure of a lifetime that it is, and have a positive birthing experience. Do it the way YOU want, not the way you've seen it in movies or how medical doctors think it should be done.

Gabbe (2012) Obstetrics: Normal and Problem Pregnancies, 6th Ed.

The power of paranoia

Most people know by now that I can't handle scary movies... like at all. They get into my head, and I can't forget them and then no matter how insane they are, I still think it's real. So you'd think that a movie like "Taken" wouldn't be so bad... it's not your average "horror" movie. But apparently I can't even handle that type of thriller.

I've been paranoid for months since I saw that movie. And it really doesn't help living in a townhouse where I can hear my neighbours on either side of me. The floors are creaky, the walls are creaky; there are noises all the time.

I've always been somewhat afraid of someone breaking into my house when I'm home alone, but now I've taken "neurotic" to a whole new level. It stared with just locking the bathroom door while I'm in the shower, and sometimes my bedroom door when I'm blow-drying my hair.

So today I was in the shower (with the bathroom door locked because I was home alone) and I heard a really loud noise which I SWEAR was in my house. Yes it could have been our neighbours, but I panicked. So I took my sweet time in the shower - because the door was locked and I didn't think they could break in to the bathroom. But I was set on having a backup plan in case someone was actually in the house, who wasn't one of my roommates.

So I'm thinking to myself: Self, your phone is in your room. As is your computer. I think my last hard drive back-up was about 2-3 months ago. That's not too bad. As long as they don't also steal my external hard drive, I think I can recover. And if anyone stole my phone I could finally use that "Find my iPhone" app that I've never tried before! Okay, focus. Because if there are men in the house, they probably already have your computer and phone and are hiding behind your door ready to attack and possibly rape you. What can I use around me to fight off or scare my attacker long enough to get away?... I HAVE RAZORS! 

So literally I finished my shower and grabbed my razor (which is a 4 or 5 blade Venus razor and was really designed not to cut you... thanks Gillette...). I turned off the bathroom fan, pressed my ear to the door and couldn't hear anything. But that didn't mean anything. So I cracked the door open, looked both ways down the hall and when the coast was clear I snuck down the hall to my room, all the while having my razor at the ready. I swear I felt like a SWAT team member the way I ducked around walls, checking around corners with my weapon ready. My room looked clear. No one was behind my door. So I did a quick scan, checked under my bed, in the closet and finally decided that no one had broken into my room. So I put the razor down... but again, locked my bedroom door while I blow-dried my hair. I even kept my eyes on my door handle - just watching to see if someone on the other side was trying to turn it.

At this point I realized I was probably safe. So upon going downstairs to make lunch I saw that a large skillet had fallen off of the drying rack and onto the floor. The loud noise had been the pan hitting the hard floor. But how the hell did it fall?!? It had been there for HOURS! Completely stable on the counter. So ... I either have ghosts again or some magical force pushed the pan off of the drying rack ... I really don't know. Either way, no one was in my house, but I am still forever scarred by that movie. I think I need CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy)...

Underutilized and Unappreciated kitchen ingredients.

Are you bored with your cooking? Tired of cutting yourself while peeling carrots? Has lettuce lost its appeal? Potatoes aren't giving you the flavour you need?

We all come across those cooking slumps where you feel like you've made the same dish over and over again, and you need some new inspiration. For me, that usually that means it's time to hit Chapters/Indigo and sift through the cookbook section. Or I consult with my friend T who will always present me with the most amazing food I've ever had and gladly hand over the recipes (like the duck and bacon soup).

Most of the larger grocery stores will usually carry quite a variety of fruits and vegetables, but how often do we just walk past them and only go for the ones we've had a million times?

Feel like being risky? Or maybe you just need to spice up an old favourite? Here are my top 10 ingredients that I think are underutilized and under-appreciated:

1) Not a veggie, but a spice: Star Anise. They're like cute little wooden twinkle starts that don't twinkle. If you like licorice, the smell is almost intoxicating. T also told me that when I'm making anything with ground beef and onion, to put 1-2 stars in with it because there is some magical chemical reaction that happens with the cooking onion and star anise and it seriously makes everything taste magical.

Star anise (image from www.theperfectpantry.com)

2) Parsnips: I like to think Parsnips are carrots' cousins. they kinda look the same except that parnsips are white. But don't let the colour fool you! They aren't like potatoes where white = bland. Parsnips are sweeter than carrots. I like to julienne them and put them in with my Fish en Papillote. Drizzle with EVOO, lemon and honey before baking, and they are incredible!

3) Turnips (aka turnups). Not only used by Italian plumbers who throw them at their enemies to kill them, turnips have an amazing transformation when you cook them. Just peeled and cut raw, they smell like horseradish, but once you cook/roast them fully, they turn into this incredible sweet and soft vegetable, perfect for stews, soups and sheppard's pie.

4) Kale: Kale is like the Zac Effron of vegetables. It's becoming more trendy, with kale chips being all the rage. The best tip about sauteeing kale, steaming it or baking it into chips is to massage the kale! Drizzle with EVOO and massage it into the leaves. And really, who wouldn't want to rub oil all over Zac Effron? Want to make kale chips? Cut the kale into smaller pieces, massage with oil, sprinkle with salt and then bake in a single layer on parchment paper for about 25 minutes at 350 F - flipping once half way. Bake until crisp, but not brown.

5) Okay this one isn't quite a "new" or interesting veggie, but I think it's completely different. Remember that episode of Friends where Pheobe tries to list all the different kinds of celery and she can only come up with "Regular celery"? Well Pheobe, there is another kind of celery which is unlike Regular celery and it's called "Organic Celery". I don't know why organic celery is so different, but it's amazing. It's firmer, not as cracked or damaged; It has more flavour and is greener (like the colour... not like the saving the planet) . It's like celery that has been on a paleo diet and been doing P90X for the past 6 months. It's super celery. Incorporate more celery into your diet and make it Organic!

6) Leeks. Leeks are the basketball players of the onion world. Like a giant green onion. Although they're not a crazy vegetable, we don't use them enough. Sautee them in a pan with cut up bacon (the real smoked side bacon kind, not the stuff you buy in a package at the grocery stores... go find a butcher.) and like star anise, the smell is intoxicating. You can also mix bacon with brussel sprouts and taste the magic.

7) Cauliflower. Again, not an exotic vegetable, but it is pretty boring. And what kid really says that they love cauliflower? So here are my tips: Steam it and mash it like potatoes, except that it will be superior to potatoes because it is actually filled with real nutrients. Make it creamy with a touch of coconut milk/cream and grind fresh pepper over it. OR take the raw cauliflower, grate it with a cheese grater, then cook it with coconut oil over medium heat for "riced" cauliflower - an excellent paleo alternative to rice in any rice dish you make.

Okay, I realize that there are only 7, but I'm having brain fog. I think it's time to go eat something before I get the "Kingitis" (low blood sugar in my family).

Amazingness Day

 I'm entering super crazy exam study mode, so my blog posts are probably going to be a little more random and spread out over the next couple weeks, than they usually are.

 I woke up this morning at 7am (yes, on a Sunday) and was pleasantly surprised by the sunshine, blue sky and birds singing. There is something about mornings like this that make me so happy and more productive. I feel like I've been sunshine-deprived for way too long. 

 I have a postcard in my room from Moksha Yoga that says:

And it's mornings like this that I think it could be possible. My definition of "amazing" varies though. Sometimes I just want to be amazing for myself:

1) Eat an breakfast made with love and gratitude (thank you for the sunshine!)
2) Make something new and incredible in the kitchen
3) Wear something that makes me happy (like leg warmers... I'm an 80's baby through and through)
4) Find brand new music that I can become obsessed over (L-la, if you're reading this, I can't get that Amanda Palmer song out of my head!)
5) Push myself harder in a workout and sweat like crazy
6) Drink the perfect cup of coffee
7) Be productive with studying and leisure reading.
8) Be nice to a stranger (I actually confronted the dog lady last night. She was super sweet and I swear she hit the mute button on that little rat dog. I was pretty impressed! No need for the chocolate yet!)
9) Get/give hugs
10) Be as happy as the weather out there. 
11) Read PostSecret! (Sunday secrets!)

 I swear, sunshine is an anti-depressant. 

Well my fox friends, wherever you are be amazing today. It's Sunday and the sun is shining. 

The quote below is a bonus. I love Paulo Coelho and found this posted on facebook. Thought I'd share it as part of my amazingness day.  

"The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter."

~~Paulo Coelho (Veronika Decides to Die)

Change: it's not as scary as a T-rex, so why do I hate it so much?

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I hate change. I just don't handle it very well.

Every time Gmail or Facebook changes their layout, I cry a little. I get angry. I used to write letters to the customer service departments telling them that they should have left things the way they were. 

I was even thrown off when Food For Life changed the packaging of my gluten-free bread. And when I was being tested on giving B12 shots this week and I walked in the room to a Teaching Assistant who I had never seen in my life, my eyes started to tear up and I almost broke down.

So when I say that I hate change, it's an understatement. The bigger the change, the more intense my response is. So I'm trying to figure out what's so bad about it. I know it's not the end of the world. I know nothing terrible will happen to me. But maybe it's that "unknown." Something is not the way I know it to be, and now ANYTHING could happen.

I think that being in my CCNM school bubble, I'm under so much stress that I need some stability. Anything that's different could throw me off completely; and that bubble stops being my "safe house."

Ironically, right now I'm listening to "Be calm" by Fun. In an interview with Blake J Graham, Nate Ruess said that he wrote "Be Calm" in the shower while having a panic attack. The lyrics were his words of advice to himself; like his own therapy:
(source: http://theairspace.net/music/nate-ruess-interview-fun-truth-words-rhymes-notes/)

I know you feel like you are breaking down
I know that it gets so hard sometimes
Be calm

I feel like this is going to be my new mantra. Especially coming up onto my clinic entrance exams, I'm going to need many reminders to stay calm. I'm so exhausted from long-term stress (my poor adrenal glands!) that anything that challenges my body's stress response just sends me over the deep end.

There is something about the "unknown" that is scary and exciting at the same time. So why do I only see the scary side? Is this some evolutionary instinct? Maybe one day, a very long time ago, my ancestors went to fetch water, but the trail they had used for years and years was flooded! By a mudslide! So this one time they had to take a different route, and they walked right into a T-rex nest! And the mommy t-rex saw them (because back then they didn't know about the rule where you have to stay completely still around t-rex's to outsmart their terrible vision) and then the mommy t-rex ATE them! And maybe one of the kids in the family saw this and hid in the bushes and when he or she escaped, they vowed never to change their routine because it meant getting eaten by a dinosaur.

So now, all of my genes are messed up because of a sudden dinosaur attack and I'm scared of all change because it means I might get eaten alive. Okay, now that I've figured it out I feel a bit better. But I think I'll keep my new mantra, just in case.

Be calm.

In my head: "Who are you?! You mean Dr. Lewis won't be in my practical session to watch me do injections?!?"

(Recognize this scene from Jurassic Park? Yup, that's what my face looks like when something unexpected happens to me. This face, followed by tears...)

Relationship fires and fizzles

A classmate of mine posted an article of FB entitled "ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER?" And I found it interesting... 

It outlined how "falling" in love is passive and easy. It's the exciting or "honeymoon" phase of the relationship. You don't have to do anything... it's something that happens to you. But is falling in love really that easy? There must be people out there who worked harder on that initial phase. Or maybe there are people who don't quite have the capacity to love yet and are working on that. 

In all fairness, the universe did set me up with a pretty sweet situation to be "swept off my feet". But it didn't force my guy to ask me out... he did it on his own accord. So from the male's perspective, he actually did have to do something. And really, I had to follow up and come up with an excuse to see him again... I just bought a new phone and I have no idea what a widget is!

There was a time at the beginning when I seriously thought "there is no way that him and I will ever fight... I just can't see us getting upset with each other over anything." Which of course is me just being silly. We've had our little tiffs and our "serious talks".

Being a girl, I know that I'm a raging storm of hormones, so there's usually a lot of tears, both with the heavy stuff and even the easy day-to-day stuff. But honestly, I still get excited when I know I'm going to see him. If I'm "dressed up" at school and it's not a clinic day - ignore whatever excuse I give you for dressing up - in reality I'm doing it for him. 

With the raging storm of hormones, I know that I have a few ounces of crazy in me. There are some little things that absolutely drive me nuts. Like when I find two wet towels hung on top of each other (They will never dry like that!!!) - but he has learned to deal with the crazy, and I try to tone it down as much as I can. I don't think any of those things takes away from the "magic" of our relationship though.

So, the question from this article was, when that initial euphoria dies down, "Am I with the right person?" I don't think any relationship should be stuck in that initial stage. I think arguments should naturally come up. If not, you might want to check to make sure your girl isn't a Stepford Wife. Or if you see a robot vagina in the sink you might be dating a Russian cyborg (Archer reference).
 
Why is it that many women are so dissatisfied with having to "work" at a relationship? Maybe it's that we have this scenario in our heads. We dream up Mr. Right and we want it to play out like a movie. That's not reality though. So when the relationship doesn't stay euphoric and perfect, some women tend to look for someone else to give them that feeling, that scenario. But like the article states, it's temporary, and you'll be stuck in the same cycle all over again.
 
There was another thing I didn't quite agree with: "The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found."
Why can't it be both? First you have to find the right person, you fall in love, and then you work on the relationship. You're essentially taking the lives of two people and coordinating them so that they can work together. 

I wouldn't say that "sustaining love ... takes time, effort and energy". I think the love is there the whole time. But I do believe that sustaining a relationship takes time and effort. I mean, every so often I have to memorize the names of a couple hockey players to gain some bonus points with my man. But I do it because I love him, and also because I love to see the shock on his face when I know something about sports.

Love is a feeling. I get it every time I look at him, or when I think about him. It fills me up, but also makes me go a little crazy inside (in a good way). I think that if we truly want our relationships to work, then we will make them work. But if there's a part of us that is hesitant, maybe we get a little lazy. 

Decide what you want, and how much of yourself you're willing to give. But remember that it goes both ways. You can't be the only one in the relationship that's working on it. It's a team effort and if you really love each other, and are dedicated to making it work, then you can get through anything together.

It's like I'm searching for the Philosopher's Stone

As a naturopathic student, our profession often gets confused with that of homeopaths. No, we are not homeopaths, but we do include homeopathy in our "tool box" of interventions for treatment. The thing about homeopathy is that relatively very few people fully understand how it works. To me, it's like a form of wizardry, and I'm always searching for the evidence of magic.

Let's back up a second... what is homeopathy? Here's my personal explanation, though it may not be perfect: Have you ever heard of the ice crystal experiments? Where you have two jars of water, you play two different kind of music (one for each jar) and then when it freezes, the ice crystals have completely different organization; the soft, gentle music makes beautiful geometric crystals, and the rap or metal or "angry" music makes very disorganized crystals. You can do the same with words or images.

Well, homeopathy uses that same principle of making an "impression" on a substance and altering it. This is how remedies are made. But what do we use to make these impression? Everything imaginable! Minerals, plants, animals, fluids from compounds and from other organisms.. basically any substance at all.

So the principle is that "likes cures like." We take the characteristics of the element/animal/etc and match it to the symptoms of the patient. The remedy works by overpowering the disease in the patient and causes a shift in the patient's symptoms.

For example, if you ate part of a belladonna plant (which is toxic), you would likely experience: pupil dilation, face flushing, increased heart rate, headache, dry mouth constipation and hallucinations. So if we have a patient who experiences many of these symptoms and they fit the "picture" of this plant, we would give them the Belladonna homeopathic remedy. The remedy is belladonna diluted to so many degrees that the belladonna is no longer present in the substance, but it has made an impression on the solvent.

It sounds complicated, and it is. That's why we have such a hard time explaining it. And this is an amateur explanation. In truth, although it's the weirdest intervention, it's actually so much fun to practice. It's like this whole other world of medicine that reminds me a lot of magic.

I still have yet to experience a very profound homeopathic moment. I've tried remedies before and haven't been sure if they've made a difference. I'm currently taking a constitutional remedy and have no idea what the remedy is (it's like a surprise... I'm not suppose to know yet). So I just keep waiting for that shift to happen. It's matched to many mental and emotional aspects of myself so I'm told to just notice anything different about myself. My boyfriend likes to joke about all the things (remedies) I could possibly be. He'll start calling me everything imaginable... praying mantis, baby dragon, weeping willow... (Baby Dragon has stuck as a permanent nickname). 

Homeopathy is like the philosopher's stone - alchemy! It's so much fun to repertorize symptoms and match people's personalities to remedies (whether they be animals, plants or minerals). It's an energetic type of medicine that I will never fully understand, but practicing it feels like I'm at Hogwarts. It might not make a lot of sense to me as a student, but people around the world practice it in different ways and the effects it can have are amazing.

If anything, I think one of it's greatest strengths is allowing the patient to dig deeper through childhood influences, current behaviours and actions... making connections between their current symptoms and possibly the emotional and psychological root of them. It doesn't change your personality, but it shifts you so that you can allow your body to "heal". I personally have found it really helpful just to talk through issues that I have and make those connections. It helps me realize why certain things bother me, or affect me. I wouldn't call it counseling, but the session guides you to where you need to go. So I think the remedy has that same effect: It guides you... if that makes any sense.

So regardless if it's magic, a real true medicine, placebo, or an energy, I think it has its place. Believe whatever you want, but I think it's important to go through the process before knocking it down.

Klout ... it reminds me of a Scott Westerfeld novel

Has anyone else heard of Klout? It's like a social networking site that tracks how influential you are, based on your activity and responses in other social networking venues. This is all brand new information for me.

I just recently added myself to Klout and, surprisingly, I'm semi-addicted to checking my Klout scores every few days. And to be honest, I don't even know what it means. Yesterday I was a 49 today I'm a 50. Apparently Barack Obama is a 100 and Britney Spears is around 90-something. So really, I have no idea what my "50" actually means, but there's something about scores that are addicting.

It's like my blog. I LOVE checking the stats on my viewers and on the number of views I get. I'm still amazed at how many views I get from countries like Russia, Germany and the UK. It's amazing that I've reached so many people and I'm so grateful!

But there's something funny about this whole situation. It reminds me of a Scott Westerfeld novel. Specifically, "Extras" in which currency doesn't quite exist but is replaced by credits that you get for how influential and productive you are in society. Westerfeld's characters are obsessed with being influential over the internets. They kick stories and see how many people respond, going to incredible lengths to kick the best stories that will gather attention from the world.

Isn't that what we're doing? I mean, by blogging and by using something like Klout? Is there something that I'm missing here? Blogging for me is like having my own column in a newspaper or magazine. A place of writing-freedom. It's an author's dream. I'm grateful just to have an avenue in which to write, but to be able to influence others... there's something so powerful about that.

The thing about power though, is that people always want to harness it. And then exploit it. I really don't care to compare myself to Obama or Britney, but using Klout has me thinking... how far away is our reality from great science fiction novels?

Plastic surgery (or "surge") is already a reality. I myself having had my breast reduction am now considering laser eye surgery to correct my terrible vision. It's amazing what we can already do, but think of how close we are to other types of "surge". Also talking about Westerfeld's novel, we already have Maglev technology! I had no idea!

Most of the sci-fi novels that I read have a similar theme: what happens when humans fail and the earth can no longer support us. Sometimes I truly believe that James Dashner might not even be that far off. (Spoiler alert!) We develop a virus to control the population and it unpredictably mutates at an alarming rate... Sun flares hit the earth creating mass destruction... and the virus spreads like wildfire, embedding into our brains essentially turning anyone who isn't immune into a zombie-like being. Maybe a zombie apocalypse is a little far fetched, but setting an unpredictable virus on the loose sounds just like something our governments would do in desperate times.

I guess only time will tell. It's scary to think of where we're heading, and how infinite the possibilities are. How far will we go until we're exactly like a sci-fi novel? I think Westerfeld accurately captures the essence of human nature. His earlier novels like "Pretties" and "Specials" depicts how governments think, and what actions they take based on the actions taken against them. It's eye-opening when you see the similarities. Although they might seem like superficial books, his writing truly reveals so many levels of human thought and development.

I never thought I'd be upset about losing weight...

This week I had to try on my Maid of Honor dress for my sister's wedding. I was excited yet a little uneasy at the same time. I mean, you want to fit into your dress the first time - sans alterations.

I have to admit I was pretty upset when I tried on the dress and realized it was like 6 sizes too big for me. I mean, the dress is beautiful, but without it fitting properly, my mood had seriously declined... especially since alterations would cost another $60 on top of the already frightening price of the dress.

In all honesty, I've bought beautiful formal/party dresses from Forever 21 for $35, so spending more than $150 on a dress feels like I'm being stabbed and gutted.

So how did this happen?! I mean, it's been 2 months and I've shrunk that much? I should have seen it coming.. I wore a size 2 dress from David's Bridal for our school's formal, so I should have said something when the lady at the dress shop ordered me a size 10 for this wedding.

The truth is that there is no "herbal magic" or miracle weight loss drug. It's not even stress-induced weight loss. Shocking! I know! It was simple diet and exercise. I'm very lucky to not have any underlying medical conditions that affect my metabolism or make it difficult to loose the weight naturally. But don't hate me yet - this has been a huge struggle all my life.

I've always had a gut, ever since I was a little kid. It has stayed with me all my life and I never thought I would be able to change. In undergrad I worked out all the time, I tried eating healthy, I made almost all of my own meals. I ate my Special K with skim milk every single morning, and yet although I was in good cardio shape, I still couldn't see the changes in my body fast enough.

So what was the secret for me? I think the best thing that I've done was go gluten-free, dairy-free; I also eliminate (to the best that I can) soy, corn, refined white sugar, nitrates, nitrites, food additives/preservatives, food colouring, and non-organic meat or corn-fed beef. Again, it's not ALWAYS possible. I try to stay 70% paleo, with the other 30% being rice. I can't help my sushi addiction or get rid of my brown rice toast in the morning. I mean, a girl's gotta eat! And if I go long periods of time without eating I'm the grumpiest grumpy-pants ever! In my family we call it "Kingitis" (since our last name is King). We're all very good at diagnosing it. As soon as one of us gets snappy at the others, we order them to go eat something otherwise they are banished from our presence. 

But diet alone didn't change everything. I have to workout 4-5 times per week, doing an hour of my weight aerobics (strength training with tiny intervals of cardio). I say "I have to" because I'm addicted to working out. I get really antsy if I miss working out for more than 2-3 days in a row.

So really, I blame the combination of diet and exercise on my latest weight loss. It's funny that this is truly what can make you get into shape but everyone wants an easier answer. Never waste your time on diet fads or products that claim to be a "weight-loss miracle". If you don't have any medical condition that prevents you from it, diet and exercise truly can change your body. It takes time and dedication. Like I said, I've been fighting my belly my entire life, so I understand the frustration. But when you start to see results, it makes it all worth it. Every time someone goes out for takeout or fast food and you can't order anything... it's depressing. But in the end, it's actually a blessing. Yes, you can't have that fast and easy meal, but you can make better things. More delicious things! Things that your body will take and love you for.

My goal is to keep my body in shape for our vacation in May. To show my dedication, I'll post my before and after beach body (the before shot being a vacation pic from 2008).

Where there is will-power, there is a way :)

The Jurassic Park of crops?

Many people have put a negative label on Genetically Modified (GM) foods, but are they dangerous or is it simply a case of "good" science?

I saw this Bill Nye video and loved it! If you're unsure of the benefits and risks of GM foods, this is a great general way to become informed. 

Part of it reminded me of a movie ... when you combine genes from different organisms, and then you allow them space on the earth in which to live... But there was a key line there: "Life will find a way." And that movie was Jurassic Park.

How is it possible for scientists to predict what these new species will do in our environment? How will they effect the ecosystems? Nye makes a good point when he talks about the insects and bats and how a chain reaction starting from our crops could potentially make our situation worse. In his hypothetical example, this chain reaction results in mosquito populations not being controlled by the bats that eat them, and therefore we have more West Nile virus floating around biting us in the ass - literally!

One scientist explains how they're making crops that are resistant to specific strains of bacteria... kind of like an antibiotic? But we know that antibiotic use in humans depletes our "good" protective bacteria and that it also leaves us less resistant to other strains. For example, using an antibiotic such as Clindamycin or Ampicillin leaves you more vulnerable to a C. difficile infection. So how does that translate to plants? In time, will different species of bacteria change and mutate in order to "infect" these new plants that we've created? Who knows?!

What's scary is that these crops are patented and owned by very few companies, the major one being Monsanto, owning over 80% of these crop patents. Is anyone else worried about this monopoly on our food sources? The power they hold is scary, especially when they also have ground within the FDA.

I mean, if we're left to put all of our trust in the government and the FDA, why do we still see aspartame, MSG, BHT (butylated hydroxytoluene) in our products, in our grocery stores, in plain sight? Are they really looking out for us, or just for their best interests and that of the "economy."

This might be extreme, but it reminds me of the Erin Brockovitch story. How companies are turning a blind eye when it comes to health hazards and they continuously pump out these chemicals in our everyday products. My sister bought a couch a few weeks ago and woke up with a bleeding nose just from the chemicals they used on the fabric. (Thankfully she sent it back!).

It's scary what we do to save money while increasing product volume. If you're interested in reading more about the history of chemical companies (in a condensed version), I highly recommend "Slow Death by Rubber Duck" by Rick Smith and Bruce Lourie.

It's a fantastic book on two guys who experiment with everyday items containing harmful chemicals as well as the history of real "Erin Brockovich" stories involving companies like DuPont. Did I mention that DuPont and Monsanto are in business together?

The great thing about the Bill Nye video and about Smith and Lourie's book is that they don't just tell the "bad" side about these technologies, but also the part they play in our world and in society.

So read up, or watch Bill Nye's video and decide for yourself.

Haunting False Alarm

Do you ever have a moment where you think there is paranormal activity going on and then you realize that it was just a false alarm?

My sister is one of those people that has had many "ghostly encounters". Where the circumstances cannot be explained by ANYTHING except that of something spiritual or ghostly. So with all the stuff that's happened to her, I tend to take these matters fairly seriously.

I myself have had a few questionable moments... once I woke up and I could hear someone or something tapping on my pillow. You know that sound when your ear is flat against the pillow and the sound is a dull tapping? Another time I was up north and in the middle of the night I swear I could feel something or someone rolling over next to me and get out of the bed; but when I looked over, there was no one there. Talk about creepy...

Maybe I ghost-dream. Maybe not. Either way, I'm easily startled and scared and today I had a false alarm of such events.

Have you ever opened up a video clip in a new tab of your browser, but not actually clicked on that tab yet? And then the clip automatically starts playing? And your desk speakers have been on the whole time, and all of a sudden you hear a light sound coming from those speakers and you think your speakers are haunted?

You can start laughing, but that was seriously my first thought. 

Yup, I thought I was victim of haunted-speaker syndrome, but thankfully it was a false alarm. Scared the shit out of me though. It was the faintest sound... like someone softly howling (is that even possible?) or whispering. So I put my ears very close to the speakers to see if I was just imagining things, and as the sound got louder, I realized that the video clip had already started playing and I had scared myself for no good reason.

Note to self: beware of the self-provoking heart attack. My poor adrenal glands...

False Advertising... it's all around

So today was the day I had my annual appointment with my banking person.  Looking around I started to notice a trend...

Do you ever notice that in all bank advertising, the people featured are overly happy? The brochures and pamphlets are about mortgages and loans, and the couples are smiling and laughing. Sometimes they're sitting at a table crunching numbers and they're smiling from ear to ear. Who seriously is that happy about their banking? Usually when I think about money or my bank I start bursting into tears. But I guess that wouldn't sell as well.

This one (below) features two girls at a baseball game.

photo from The Toronto Star

Seriously, does your bank account manager have anything to do with you being ecstatic at a baseball game? It's like they're taking credit for the happiest moments in your life.

Sometimes I wonder who dreams up this stuff. Who works at these advertising companies and decides to blast whatever they want in order to influence the public. It's actually fairly scary what society believes, just because of advertising.

Here's another example (and my latest rant): We all think of Canadian Chinese food as containing MSG and we're all so proud when we find a restaurant that bluntly advertises "No MSG", but did you ever think of all the other places that MSG hides? Like your Lays and Ruffles potato chips? Your pre-mixed seasonings? It's scary how much of this stuff is out there, but no one ever talks about it.

Even foods that are branded as "Gluten Free" - you still need to check the labels... just because it says "low-fat" or "gluten-free" doesn't mean it's healthy. That's the advertising companies trying to lure you in to buying their product.

This is straight from the Heinz Canada website: "Our philosophy on food is simple. We use only the finest ingredients...  Heinz has been providing high quality products to Canadians for more than 100 years." I've bolded the words that the company has used to trick you.

Do you really want to know what's in your Ketchup? (from: http://www.heinzketchup.com/Products.aspx):
TOMATO CONCENTRATE FROM RED RIPE TOMATOES, DISTILLED VINEGAR, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CORN SYRUP, SALT, SPICE, ONION POWDER, NATURAL FLAVORING.  

Well, we all know that high fructose corn syrup is killing us and contributing to the obesity "epidemic". And what exactly is "natural flavouring"? What does that even mean??? Usually it also means MSG or something else sneaky that these companies don't want to disclose. (side note: Heinz' "Organic" version actually contains more sugar than the original - 5g vs 4g per 1 tbsp... again, how does this make any sense?).

It's time for us to get smart. Let's outsmart the advertising companies. Let's outsmart them all! Look past the pretty pictures on billboards and at the bus station; start reading your labels thoroughly and question everything. If something sounds sneaky, or there are ingredients that don't make any sense... well, that's probably your primal instinct kicking in. Every product you buy is a vote for that product and that company. Make your vote count.

The Little Engine that Could... NOT stop barking!

I'm proud of the fact that I can usually ignore most background noises, but tonight my ears were intrigued; And during that temporary distraction, I picked up on an awful and repetitive sound.

There is a little yappy dog just going to town in the backyard of my townhouse complex. I mean, this thing is seriously like a broken record.

At first I thought, Oh man! What's going on in the backyard?! Maybe this dog has caught a burglar! Maybe someone is sneaking onto the property and this little guy is going to save the lives and electronics of everyone in the neighbourhood!

So I ran to my window and peered out onto the street. And then I peered down into the yard. And then I turned out my lights, so that the burglar couldn't see me peering out the window at him. I even did the sneaky, hiding-behind-the-curtains peek, just in case.

Alas, there was no one around. So I can't figure out why this little dog is still barking. Not kidding, it's been 20 minutes and as I type this, he is barking at a rate of 32 barks per minute (yes, I actually timed it). That's 640 barks from when my ears first perked up on the sound. Seriously, how are my ears not bleeding right now?

I mean, first of all, I feel really stupid that a little dog could trick me into thinking he was this amazing watchdog. And now I just can't believe that the owners aren't concerned. If I screamed 32 times every minute, I think my larynx would fall off. Okay, that's a bit dramatic, but still. How does that dog not have a headache? I have one just from listening to it.

Let this be a warning to all animal owners: If you live near me and your dog barks 32 times per minute for more than 5 minutes, you may start to find little bits of chocolate on your lawn. If you plan on leaving your little dog outside to bark for a half hour, I will not hurt your dog in the dog-killing sense (much like in that Seinfeld episode), but I will contribute to him violently shitting all over your house.

I'm all for having pets, and I really do think that puppies make the world go round. I think that the cure for cancer might actually be having a box of puppies dumped onto your lap. But if you have a dog, please tend to it and don't feed into the whole barking-at-the-neighbourhood-for-absolutely-no-reason for abnormally long periods of time. I'm sure there are people out there who can help you train your dog. And if that isn't an option, maybe go out and check on your dog if you hear it barking.

Maybe I'm being crazy, but it's just a thought.
Also, I promise I won't resort to the chocolate just yet. I really do hate wasting good chocolate...

Well played little kid... well played

Today I drove to school, and upon walking around to grab something from my trunk, I noticed that someone had shot my car with a Nerf dart.

The funny thing is that the dart was on my back bumper... and my car is always parked on the side of a road in my complex, lined up in front of other cars.

So, I'm pretty sure this kid was a ninja. Who else could shoot a dart at a car, less than 2 feet above the ground at a short range? Maybe a sniper... a ninja sniper.

I just regret not taking a picture of it right away. Perhaps the ninja will not come back to collect his or her ammunition and I can get a good picture of it when I go back to my car tonight.

So I just have to say, well played ninja kid... well played. I will be on guard for the next sneak attack. Which actually won't be easy unless I stage a steak-out in front of my car. It wouldn't be the first time I've hiked around the bushes in my townhouse complex and it won't be the last.

I'm just wondering what me or baby-grey (my car) did to upset anyone. Regardless, the first dart was shot and thus, war is declared. Perhaps I should go to Target and pick up my own Nerf gun and just start shooting at every kid around my neighbourhood. I'll dress in camouflage, do ninja rolls in the street; I'll practice my shooting skills (which I'm pretty sure are amazing...). And when the time comes and I manhunt that little ninja I will laugh victoriously in his or her face, and possibly bust out the Super Soaker.

It's just too bad that I bruise like a peach. I'll have to get the Traumeel ready.