Thursday, March 28, 2013

When family is 10 shades of crazy

Tomorrow is my first official real day off! I didn't realize, until someone today wished me a happy Easter. I completely forgot that that was the reason for getting two days off of clinic. I guess there comes a time in your life where if you're not actively celebrating religion, that holidays like this get overlooked... or we save them for kids.

I know a lot of people are doing family celebrations this weekend, but I am not one of those people. I do remember the days where we did celebrate and the first thing that comes to mind is having to spend time with a very dysfunctional family.

Why are families so crazy?! Each person on their own has their issues, but you put them all together and it's a pot of boiling rabbits smelling of guilt and psychotic tendencies. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Do any of us have a normal family? If you said yes, well, I'm pretty sure you're lying. If you're not lying, then I'm voting you off the island.

I don't know why, but the universe found it necessary to give me an aunt who is 10 shades of crazy. She had the ability to ruin every single family holiday, and everything was always about her. All eyes had to be on her; she was always the victim. She would throw food, throw tantrums, take back Christmas presents. She would talk about you behind your back but days later would shower you with complements... I think she would have her own classification of bipolar in the DSM IV.

But with family gatherings, you do get the stories. Some of them are bit unpleasant and you try to forget them, but others just make you laugh. The ones where Nana gets hurt and swears at Papa are my favourite. Nana swears a lot...

Bringing the extended family together is a project. It requires planning. You have to think about the seating chart; With my dad's side I apparently still qualify for the "kiddie table". Apparently it doesn't matter if you're 28 and a naturopathic intern... more people are still older than you and you still get the kiddie table.

In addition to planning you also need to know when to kick people out - because really, if you don't, they will never leave. And don't forget to make everyone's favourite type of potatoes: mashed with sour cream, mashed with little chunks, mashed sweat potatoes, baked sweat potatoes, roasted potatoes... everyone has their preference horse and they'll be disappointed if they show up and their favourite potatoes are not there.

So for everyone out there who is having a nice family gathering this weekend, I wish you goodluck. Take mental pictures every time something hilarious happens. Get your speech ready for when they ask you "How's school going?" and if you're married, be ready to duck the inevitable question "So when are you guys going to have a baby?!?"

We can't choose our family, but if we did, I think life would be a little boring.