Tuesday, March 19, 2013

I would like to play an "EVERYONE JUST CALM THE F@$% DOWN" card

Okay, so you know how in soccer they have those yellow cards and at any time the ref can wave one or throw one down or hand it to someone? I'm pretty sure this is how it happens. I mean, I'm no soccer expert, but I swear I've seen referees with these cards and when they use them, it's a big freaking deal and everybody stops what they're doing to give attention to the card.

I also have one of these cards... it's between a yellow card and a red card and I like to call it the "EVERYONE JUST CALM THE F@$% DOWN! - card."  (Will refer to it as the EJCTFD card.) I also like to imagine that this card has Dumbledore's face on it. Because in times like these, I think Dumbledore could easily be elected as the spokesperson for calming the f@$% down.

You know when everyone is freaking out around you and it just gets to be so overwhelming? Maybe it's on the 401 when people are acting like idiots on the road, or honking for some absurd reason. I once saw a woman honking at a car in front of her that was stopped at a red light. As if she thought that the car in front of her had a traffic control panel with them and could change the light to green. I mean, seriously?! Calm the f@$% down lady.

Man, just look at those guys in the photo to the left... that one guy in front looks like he's going to lose his mind. It's madness and chaos, but that referee says nothing and just holds up that card. Final answer.

I find that on the day of an exam the environment is just toxic in the school because everyone is stressed out, and they're all comparing notes and quizzing each other and I just want to scream and find a cave to hibernate in until it's all over.

Other times there might just be a really heated discussion going on within a group... too many people are talking at the same time, all trying to get their own opinion across, and nothing gets resolved.  

But usually it's just people who are angry at such little things. Yes, it's hard to see the big picture when something doesn't go your way, or something is maybe done unfairly, but at the same time do you really need to blow up around everyone else in the universe? Some people are happy and content and don't need an energy-sucking black hole of misery whizzing about. And that is the moment I would like to pull out my EJCTFD card.

We all need to be the referees in our own lives. If someone is taking too much from you (energetically, emotionally, etc), it's time to blow that whistle and give these people a time-out. I'm still learning about setting boundaries - and will continue to do so in clinic- but it's important not to let others drag you down.

It's always great to vent and get your emotions out, and on the other end, we need to have good listening ears; but where do we set the boundaries between helping someone and just being a dumping ground for them?

Maybe it's okay to have big rants but then we should take a deep breath and move on. Easier said than done though. Until then, I think I just need to be aware of those boundaries - be a great listener and a good friend, but recognize when people are taking advantage of the "energetic vulnerability" of myself and others. As well as recognize when it's necessary to remove myself from those situations (not as easy when you're stuck in your car on the highway).