So I've been MIA for the past few days... studying away for OSCE and trying not to let my brain explode. This school does some interesting things to you, and most of the time I think that if any other type of student heard us talking in the halls, they would think we're crazy. So I've compiled a starter list of the "shit CCNM students say"...
"Can I see your tongue?"
This is usually followed up with: "Wow, you have a serious map tongue!" or "I see a bit of scalloping around the edges... how's your spleen function?"
"Oh man, I'm so Liver-ish"
"I just really don't feel like getting naked today" ... referring to massage and hydrotherapy
Student 1: Would you like a cookie?
Student 2: Is it gluten free/dairy free?
Student 1: Your lunch looks so good and healthy!
Student 2: Ughhh... I'm on the elimination diet. I feel like I just want to punch someone in the face
... later that day during Primary Care...
Instructor: So what's one thing that you would do with this patient?
Student: Elimination diet!
[for anything] "You should definitely take a probiotic and a fish oil"
Student 1: Did you go to class today?
Student 2: No. Did anyone else here go to class?
Students 3, 4 and 5: all shaking their heads no
"I'm so tired. I was up until 2am... stupid Liver time..."
"Is it up on Moodle?"
"Did you check Moodle?"
"Does anyone know how to work the Moodle?"
"It's definitely on Moodle"
"I'm SO tired!"
Instructor: "Generalized anxiety disorder: excessive anxiety and worry; finding it difficult to control the worry. Other symptoms: restlessness, easily fatigued, mind going blank, irritability, muscle tension, sleep disturbance."
Every student in the class: I totally have that...
"Dr. Saunders? Yeah, he's definitely a wizard."
Student 1: Are you going to that women's health talk today at common time?
Student 2: Is there free food there?
Student 1: Yes, I'm almost certain.
Student 2: Then yes! We should probably get there early.
Student 1: I'm so tired!
Student 2: Me too! I think I'm going to skip class and take a nap in the meditation room
"Your pulse feels a little slippery... are you pregnant?"
Student 1: You look nice today!
Student 2: Clinic.
Student 1: aaah [nods head, understandingly]
"I have clinic tomorrow so I can't forget to charge my opthalmascope!"
"My opthalmascope went dead halfway through PCD..."
"Don't forget to charge your opthalmascope!"
"My opthalmascope is dead again. Do you think I could charge it in the clinic room before having to do the exam?"
"Is it taco salad day?"
"Ugh, taco salad day again?"
"Ooh! Taco salad day!"
"I'm so tired..."
Student 1: How do you explain homeopathy to people?
Student 2: It's like an imprint of a substance in a medium... and it's energetic medicine... Something about 'like fixes like'... and then you repertorize symptoms... and the remedy overpowers the disease...
Student 3: hmmm... I just tell people it's magic
Student 1: Have you done the Peds assignment yet?
Student 2: We have another peds assignment?!?! I was working on the health psyc assignment all week.
Student 1: We have a health psyc assignment?!?!!
Student 1: I feel so deficient
Student 2: OOh! can I feel your pulse?