This post is dedicated to a friend of mine who was given terrible advice on how to pick up women.
Guys think that women are complicated ... like a sphinx! It's like we give you a riddle that needs to be solved, but every girl likes to tell a different kind of riddle. And sometimes we like to trick you, and other times you just don't answer the riddle in the right tone of voice - which pisses us off. Or you didn't deliver the answer to the riddle at the right time - again... seriously? Yes.
But like any sphinx (or fox or kitten), we get happy over the little things. You just have to know your lady friend and figure out what makes her happy; So when you screw up, have a good distraction ready.
Here are some excellent ways to impress the sphinx ladies: (Disclaimer: these do not work on every sphinx lady; do not expect positive results with each attempt. Choose your words, actions and delivery very carefully... but otherwise it's a fool-proof plan.)
1) Dancing videos on YouTube. Seriously. Who doesn't enjoy a good video of people dancing on the internets. Saxaphone guy, Nathan Barnatt... take your pick. Plus, at school, we could always use study breaks!
2) Dark Chocolate: milk chocolate is bad for you... too much milk, sugar, etc. but dark chocolate says you care about her antioxidant levels while also satisfying those chocolate cravings.
3) A really cheap but amazing pen. Maybe it's because I'm still a student, but you know that feeling of when you go somewhere, and you pick up a free pen with some sort of advertising on it.. and it ends up being the most amazing pen and you don't want to go anywhere without it? Maybe it has a really good grip. Maybe it writes really smoothly. Eitherway, give a girl a really cheap but GOOD pen, and she'll adore it forever. Until it dies and then she'll be so upset and she'll remember the day that you gave it to her (true story, btw. A boy named L.V. gave me the most amazing pen in 8th grade and I will never forget it).
4) Hugs. Give a girl a hug, but not in a creepy sexual harassment way.
5) If she has really busy days, feed her! You can insert dark chocolate here. But anytime you cook for a girl - and it's healthy - she'll be so appreciative that you thought of her. So... learn how to cook.
6) Listen to her. Or pretend that you are listening to her. It doesn't really matter. Just keep eye contact, nod your head and every once in a while throw in an "awww"with a head-tilt.
7) At CCNM, claim that you want to practice your manips and ask if you can palpate for fixations... if you can get cavitation and she feels awesome after that, you'll have no problem scoring a date. Or at least another manip exchange.
8) Complement her on something. It could be anything! "Your hair looks really shiny today!", "You look really cute today," "That was a great answer you gave in class today!" "These cookies you baked are amazing!"
9) Don't ignore her because you think you are being mysterious. We don't have time for mysterious boys. Mysterious boys are often the trouble-makers. Plus, being mysterious is our job and we don't like being imitated.
10) Be her friend. If you're her friend first and actually like hanging out with each other she'll be happy just to see you. And then you can do fun stuff together like: Fly kites, walk a dog, go wine shopping, watch a funny tv show, do arts and crafts, play board games (like Catan!), go out to a movie, enjoy delicious food whenever you're both too tired to make dinner that night, pet a bunny, join a euchre tournament, etc. The possibilities are endless.
Those are my tips for the day. Goodnight and good luck.
