11 Ways to Help Maintain Life-Work Balance and Mental Well-being

It's been a while since I last posted. I took a bit of a social media break, mostly because life has gotten a little crazier than usual, and I've been working really hard to be more mindful and to be present in reality.

Life-work balance isn't easy. For the last few weeks I've been feeling like I've just been keeping my head above water, but only just. If a wave were to come in, I'd be in real trouble.

I've talked before about my history with PMDD, and it has recently resurfaced - not to the same degree, but I notice it almost immediately after ovulating. I have to laugh a little bit, because in my head and my body, sometimes it feels like I go into this "empty uterus depression." I hate stereotypes of women being useless during "that time of the month," but to be honest, for me, there is totally a link between my fluctuating hormones and my ability to function optimally (Let me assure you, I can still function, but I know I'm better than this).

I don't know exactly how many other women feel this way. There are a lot of women out there who are so much better at functioning while their hormone levels are changing.

To be honest, without my own naturopathic and self care I would be drowning. And I think it's up to us to realize when we're starting to slip and to get help immediately. Here are a few things I've been working on - practices to help other women keep this balance and keep their heads above water.

1) If you're waking up early for work, go to bed earlier. My bedtime has been scaled back to around 9:30pm. That might sound fairly early, but I haven't been sleeping as well due to added life stress, so I'm more tired than usual.

2) Find out if you need extra nutrient supplementation and take your supplements regularly. This may include extra magnesium (especially magnesium malate), B12 injections, vitamin C, etc.

3) Get assessed and consider extra stress and nervous system support. Nervine herbs like oatstraw (Avena sativa) and lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) can be calming, support sleep, and mood.

4) Don't forget to exercise but it needs to be something you look forward to, and keep it shorter. I've been doing more yoga lately which helps immensely. Even 20-30 minutes of activity will make a huge difference in your mood. If you don't have time to do this everyday, take 5 minutes to stretch out on your floor. Or maybe just do a couple forward folds, moving with your breath.

5) Schedule 30 minutes each day for you. Read a book that you've been meaning to get through. Wind down for 30 minutes before your bedtime to you do an activity that calms you, brings you joy and that isn't work. I've been either reading or knitting, which has been a huge help for my own mental well-being.

6) Talk to a friend or family member. When I'm this busy and stressed out, I embrace my introvertedness (yup, I'm also making up words), and I don't want to go out anywhere. So instead, I'll call my mom or sister, or even just send them a text if I don't feel like I can talk. Partners/husbands are also great for hugs and cuddles. Petting your cat or dog can also have calming effects.

7) Cry. Seriously, go have a good cry. Then get your breath back and work on slowing and controlling your breath.

8) Journal. On days you don't feel like your 30-minute wind-down activity (see #5), then instead write down a few of your thoughts. What are you grateful for today? What do you need to do tomorrow? What are you looking forward to? What are things do you wish you could get done that aren't getting done? Write down anything. Just write for 5 whole minutes, then go to bed.

9) Once a month (or more frequently if you can swing it), do something bigger for you: go get a massage. Go for a swim. Take an exercise/yoga/support/meditation class. There are so many out there! Meetup.com has some great local options, for all interests.

10) Save time by setting up deliveries. For example, use services like MamaEarth Organics in the greater Toronto area and have groceries (and good healthy foods!) delivered to you automatically each week. Do all of your holiday shopping online to save you the time and stress of having to go to a shopping mall and dealing with crowds. Hire a cleaning service to come to your house maybe once or twice per month. Anything that can give you more time for the things you really need.

11) In general, set a schedule for yourself. Choose a time to stop responding to emails. Schedule time that is just family time. Schedule time for you alone. Set a schedule for both work and your personal/family life and do your best to stick to it.

Sometimes even one activity/class per month can be daunting when you look at your calendar, but I think we need to get back to taking care of ourselves. One day per month isn't a lot to ask. Nor is 35 minutes daily for you. That's 35 minutes out of our 960 minutes (16 daytime hours) per day. Of course, finances can also interfere in the above plan, so do only what you can manage.

And ever forget to ask for help when you need it. You may be surprised by how many people come to your aid when you reach out and ask for help.

The dangers and consequences of lack of sleep

Sleep is one of those funny things that most of us love, but we can never seem to get enough. On the one hand, anyone who is tired will tell you how much they desperately want more sleep. They might have to take naps, or just crave a decent full-night of sleep.

On the other hand, a lot of us also need down-time after work and into the evening. Maybe you have kids and you don't get time for yourself or alone time with your partner until after the kids are in bed. Maybe you take work home with you and work late, and therefore just don't get to bed early enough. Either way, we're pushing our bedtimes later, and our wake-up times aren't necessarily changing.

This balance of sleep, work, and time for yourself to decompress, can be really tough to achieve. Part of it is due to how we, as a North American society, view our daily expectations. Workplaces expect a 8-hour workday minimum, with more and more jobs requiring additional hours adding up to 60-80 hours per week. How on earth is that healthy for anyone?

Most of the research I have done in this area is eye-opening. Humans in general need a minimum of 7 hours per night. Anything less than 6.5 hours per night increases the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease, cardiovascular disease, and certain cancers such as breast cancer. (full article with references here: http://thenatpath.com/mind/sleep-deprivation-chronic-health-outcomes/)

I was reminded of these while listening to a fascinating podcast with Matthew Walker, professor of neuroscience and founder/director of the Centre for Human Sleep Science on the JRE:

(http://podcasts.joerogan.net/podcasts/matthew-walker)
I've posted a short clip below, but the full video is also found on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwaWilO_Pig

Key messages were that in addition to the number of hours of sleep needed, the quality of sleep is crucially important. That evening glass of wine might help you relax, but the alcohol is keeping your system up.

As well, sleep isn't just for rest! This isn't just about letting the body go to sleep, but allowing your brain to solidify all the connections you were trying to make from your day. This is where the saying "sleep on it" comes from. Even for students who are studying - it is more beneficial for their learning and memory to sleep, rather than to pull an all-nighter. You might think you're giving your brain extra study hours, but the connections will not be made or stay the same way if you instead got a good night of sleep.

Studies have also looked at the mental and cognitive function of school-aged children, finding that children are better able to learn when school start times are pushed back from 7/8am to 9 am or later.

And what about our doctors? The ones who pull double or triple shifts at hospitals, or who have a ridiculous number of working hours during their residency? Aren't we supposed to be superhuman and push through it? Nope! The initial regimen of pushing medical residents started with one MD: a man who was able to follow these long working hours. But it wasn't because of his "mental strength" - it was because he was accidentally addicted to cocaine! And now we use this as our standard for medical students and hospital doctors.

This type of sleep deprivation can cause major issues of impairment both on the job and while driving, being equated to the impairment of drunk driving. Falling asleep at the wheel is no joke, and it's not uncommon. That's what makes this so dangerous.

These developments in sleep science should be unnerving for a lot of us. Sleep isn't something to take for granted. These aren't extra hours to allocate to whatever activities you deem important. This is about your chronic health, and the safety of those around you. Today you might feel okay with 4-5 hours, but 10 years from now your health could be facing the consequences.

Interestingly, Walker actually addresses the "4-5 hour sleeper". He says that the percentage of human beings that can actually get away with that amount of sleep per night with no repercussions is a fraction of 1% but even that number is rounded up!

There are multiple ways to help improve sleep. Walker goes into a few of them, though what's most important is keeping a routine and removing obstacles that can keep you from good sleep:

• Have a set bedtime, set an alarm if you need to remind yourself. 
• Avoid screen time, like smartphones and computers before bed. Put a blue-light filter on your devices if you must use them. 
• Avoid eating 2 hours before bed, and alcohol about 4 hours before bed (or just avoid alcohol altogether). 
• Refrain from caffeine after noon
• Keep the bedroom dark and do not allow light in from outside. Cover up electronics that have lights on them while you sleep
• Keep your bedroom cooler at night. Use fans, A/C or lighter pyjamas if necessary. 
• Work on stress management to regulate cortisol levels. This is crucial for those who find they're waking between 2-4am. 

Taking a bath for your health

Baths are my secret weapon for self-care. When I bring this up to a lot of people, I often get the response of "but you're just stewing in your own filth." Obviously they haven't had a really good bath - one that is actually composed of the proper elements for physical and mental well-being.

But don't you just sit in a tub of hot water? No! If that's what you're doing, you're not giving yourself an optimal experience. It's like that old episode of Friends, "The one where Chandler takes a bath." Monica is able to create an atmosphere of relaxation with bath salts, aromatherapy, ambiance... But when Chandler tries to re-create this experience, his salts don't dissolve, the water isn't the right temperature. It's easy to overlook important details that can really make or break the experience.

Which brings me to my next point: There are different types of baths! Create the right conditions for your own personal needs. Here are some elements that can change the outcome of a self-care bath:

Elements of a Self-care Bath: Detoxifying and Relaxing

1) Water temperatures and application:

In general, hot/warm water in extended time periods (20-60 minutes) helps to relax the nervous system and your body. If you feel like you need help decompressing and getting to sleep, a hot bath is a great way to prep the body for bed.

If you're looking to invigorate your circulation and give yourself a bit of a "wake-up", follow that hot bath with 1-2 minutes of a cool/cold shower. The water doesn't need to be freezing, we're not looking to shock your system. We want it cold enough that it's a noticeable change from the bath, but not intolerable. For some individuals, even 30 seconds of cold water application is enough to change circulation, and at the least, the neck down should be exposed to the water.

Hot water tends to bring circulation to the surface, allowing your body to try to cool itself down. Whereas afterwards, if you apply cold water, you then force all of that warm blood back from your extremities and from the surface, back to central circulation.

2) Salts and Minerals:

Epsom salts, used externally, are a fantastic way of creating a mineral rich medium in which to soak your body. In particular, Epsom salts contain Magnesium sulfate. By soaking in this solution for 20-40 minutes, your body can absorb magnesium (and sulfates), which can act as a natural muscle relaxant. The trick is in adding the right amount of salts.

A full bathtub needs 2 full measured cups of Epsom salts. Other benefits of Epsom salts include a calming effect on the mind and nervous system, relaxing sore muscles and aches, and a detoxification effect on the body as it promotes pathways of elimination. Make sure to swish the salts around until they are fully dissolved into the water.

3) Oils (carrier/moisturizers and aromatherapy)

Oils are an excellent way of elevating the wellness aspect of your bath. Mix a handful of Epsom salts with some olive oil and rub gently over skin as a softener and exfoliator.
Essential oils can be added to the bath (just about 5-10 drops) as well for mood support and relaxation.

The Recipe for a perfect Detox-Relax Bath

We do a lot of detoxifying through our skin! Which is also why sweating can be beneficial and healthy. A detox bath can be accomplished just by using our Epsom salts, and by soaking for at least 30 minutes. The relaxation part will take a small amount of work on your part, to create the atmosphere you need. 

• First, you'll need to set up your bathroom: grab a big fluffy towel, light a few candles if you wish, brew a cup of tea or get a cup of lemon water to sip on while you're in the tub. 
• Try to eliminate distractions. Play relaxation instrumental music in the background, but avoid screens (tv, tablets, phones). Allow yourself this time just for you. It's your time to recharge - build up your Yin!
• Fill your tub with warm/hot water 
• Add 2 cups epsom salts, swished in bath and dissolved.
• Add 5-10 drops of essential oils
• Alternatively or additionally, you can add dried herb to your bath. 
• Add in calendula or chamomile flowers to help ease skin irritations, and ease an angry tummy; Add dried lavender if you don't have the essential oils on hand. 
• Note: I recommend cheesecloth to contain the flowers if you want to make clean-up easier in the end. You can use quite a bit of them, about 3-6 heaping tablespoons. 
• Soak and relax for at least 30 minutes. Up to 45 or 60 minutes if you're looking to relax more before bed. 
• Rinse off or just towel dry, making sure to be gentle on the skin. End with a slow gentle body massage with your favourite moisturizer or oil. Even if you don't have an extra set of hands to massage you, self-massage to apply a moisturizer will do just fine. 

How to charge "light" and "dark" batteries

Okay, it's been way too long since I've posted. You'd think since it was summer that the "relax" factor would be cranked up, but as usual life gets busy, hectic, and I'm pulled in a dozen different directions.

I was sitting and trying to figure out how to juggle everything meanwhile realizing that I stopped taking care of myself the way I used to. Without a race to train for, I started putting more of my time and energy into my clinical practice but found that there was more on my "to-do" list than I had thought (a blog post being one of them - and one of the things that got sacrificed).

A friend and co-worker stepped in to offer support and I got a little Reiki treatment from her. Afterwards she told me, "You're mind is like a hurricane." And it was. I was all over the place - I couldn't keep my mind still. Everyone around me needed me for something and I needed myself. I needed to recharge my batteries. Both sets were empty and I wasn't getting the chance I needed to recharge.

What am I talking about? Charging two sets of batteries? It's how I like to think about my energy. In traditional Chinese Medicine you could equate a similarity to Yin and Yang.

My "Light" Batteries:
I consider Light batteries to be Yang in nature. Yang is movement and energy. We use these on a daily basis. Some people like coffee to help with their Light energy: caffeine gives you a boost, coffee improves mood to some extent.

Light batteries are easily charged just by listening to your body throughout the day and making sure your basic needs are met - both biological and social! Need a snack? Maybe some water? Want to go out and sit in the warm sun?

Ways to charge your Light Batteries:

• Literally spend time in daylight! Look out the window, go for a walk, get out in nature! Sit outside and get a little sun exposure. 
• Make sure you're well hydrated. When was the last time you had something to drink like water or tea?
• When was the last time you ate? What did you eat? Do you need a snack? Make it a good clean healthy one!
• When was the last time you were social? Do you need to go chat with a co-worker for a few minutes and take your eyes off your computer? Catch up with a friend; Even a quick phone call or text message to put you into touch with friends. 
• Do something that you find fun; Any activity that brings you joy. 

My "Dark" Batteries:
Dark Batteries can be harder to charge. I consider dark batteries to be more Yin in nature. They are substance/matter - your reserve energy. Like a back-up generator. When we try to take care of everyone else around us and stop meeting our own basic needs, those Light batteries run out quick and we start pulling energy from our dark batteries. If these become depleted, now we really start to feel it. Coffee alone doesn't do it. Our sleep might start to suffer, anxiety might start creeping around; we become exhausted.

How to charge your Dark Batteries - Stage 1:

• Get enough sleep (8 hours minimum). I would argue that we could all use at least one night of 9-10 hours sleep per week. Sleep is huge here. If you can't get it in during the week, make up for it on the weekend. 
• Spend time in a dimly lit room, especially before bed. Dark batteries sometimes require actual dark; away from stimulation. Keeping lights dim and screens away before bed can really help with sleep. 
• Learn to say "no". If you're being pulled in a hundred different directions or people are asking too much of you, make a list, prioritize it, and learn to say no to a few things. Other people will have to understand. This is your health we're talking about! 
• Quiet time and reflection time. Take a day to be less social. Have time for yourself. Stay quiet and just recharge. Read something for enjoyment, take a nap, do some Yin or Restorative Yoga, whatever you feel like you need. Don't push yourself too much or do anything strenuous. 

Charging your Dark Batteries - Stage 2:
For some people, Stage 1 is enough to feel better. But for others, if dark batteries have been depleted for too long, they almost forget how to recharge and need additional support.

• What have you eaten today in general? What about throughout the week? It can be worth doing a Diet Diary and look at your food trends over the past week. 
• Look to eliminate refined and added sugars. Avoid processed and fast foods. Focus on a variety of vegetables to make up the most of your plate, with healthy fats and proteins with it. Grains should be a side-dish only and I would argue that most people in this state would do much better to eliminate dairy, gluten grains and corn, as these tend to be more inflammatory. 
• Consider some nutritional support. Talk to your naturopathic doctor about adding a high-quality B-complex to your daily routine, or Magnesium malate, to assist in energy production. It might also be helpful (depending on your specific situation) to get a few weekly B12 injections. 
• Get additional support. Make sure you have someone to talk to. Find out if you would benefit from other therapies such as acupuncture or massage. 
• Pace yourself. Eliminate things that are toxic to you (food intolerances, negative relationships, etc), and then nurture your body. I'm a big fan of Kate Hudson's book, Pretty Happy, which describes the pillars of our well-being and how to re-gain that balance. Practice meditation, journal or create your own "Drawing Board" as described by Hudson. 

Why coffee isn't helping to correct your fatigue

We see it way too often. Towns and cities full of people, waking up tired and going straight for the coffee. Many of us - like myself - love coffee for its aromas, its taste and the ritual of a morning coffee. Oh the ritual! The careful preparation, the feeling of warm mug in our hands, and the thorough enjoyment of each slow sip.

But too many people take these things for granted. Coffee has a purpose and that purpose is energy! It's to wake up. To be able to function! They walk around with their 16oz or larger cups filled with the hot brown liquid. Coffee pots containing 12 servings are gone by lunch time. And do they feel any better? The answer is usually no. They need it to get through the day. But what these people don't know is that their 10-person family-size serving of daily coffee can be acting against them.

First, this is way too much caffeine, but it never seems like it to a "chronic, high-dose" coffee-drinker. This is because our bodies become accustom to these levels of caffeine. One or two cups is no longer enough. Your body knows what you've been giving it. Try to cheap out, and you don't feel the same. The more you consume, the more you get used to it, and the more you need to function at the same level. To make matters more complicated, caffeine can actually intensify anxiety. Feeling anxious like Tweak from South Park? Yeah, your coffee is making that worse.

Yes, you can function on lots of caffeine. Maybe it really does get you through your day. But aren't you just burning through "false" energy? I mean, a little caffeine can be a great help, but what are you teaching your body? We don't have enough energy but we have to keep going! Keep pushing! Keep moving! Keep working and work harder! You've exhausted your system.

In my experience, many of us "type-A" personalities are at the most risk. We can power through anything - and we'll use what we need to to get the job done; to stay up studying, and to stay focused. But we're forgetting something key: Our energy building blocks. We keep burning through such a "Yang" energy - this quick, "hot", full-speed type energy - we need to also build our "Yin" side: the substance and matter. For example, where running and cardio are Yang, Tai Chi or Yoga would be Yin. You can even attend a Yin Yoga class. They're everywhere!

So how do we help build up our energy and actually help our bodies with recovery instead of  continuously burning through energy that we don't have in the first place?

1). Slowly wean down the coffee. Every few days have smaller and smaller amounts of coffee. This won't be fun, but you'll have less withdrawal effects compared with cold turkey. Get yourself down to 2 8oz cups per day.
OR
Cut out caffeine cold turkey and have a week-long wash out period. Then you can start again with 1 cup (8oz) per day. Notice how differently and well you respond to just 1 cup of coffee, instead of 12.

2) Talk to your naturopathic doctor about which botanical formulas, or single herbs, would be best for you and what you're experiencing. Rehmannia and Rhodiola are two great herbs that act more Yin in the body.

3) Avoid other stimulants. Even something like Panax ginseng might be too stimulating if you're finding you burn out easily. Everyone is different, but these herbs are not to be taken lightly.

4) Start gentle exercising like Tai Chi or a gentle yoga (not power flow). Meditation makes a great addition to this.

5) Consider a B vitamin Complex. B vitamins are the building blocks of not just neurotransmitters like serotonin, but they also plug in as co-factors in the Kreb's cycle of energy production (remember that from high school? ATP production?). For anyone on acid reflux medication or on oral contraceptives, B vitamins can be depleted by these medications.

6) Get enough sleep. Seriously. For every night that you don't get enough sleep, you run a "sleep deficit". And your body will make sure that you repay every hour. If you don't, you suffer through the consequences (decreased concentration, adrenal fatigue, headaches and more).

Our schedules are busy. We have deadlines, places to go, things to get done. But if we neglect self-care, everything that we do to our bodies now will have an effect later. Remember to give back some time for yourself. Enjoy a cup o' Joe - just not the whole pot.