Taking a bath for your health

Baths are my secret weapon for self-care. When I bring this up to a lot of people, I often get the response of "but you're just stewing in your own filth." Obviously they haven't had a really good bath - one that is actually composed of the proper elements for physical and mental well-being.

But don't you just sit in a tub of hot water? No! If that's what you're doing, you're not giving yourself an optimal experience. It's like that old episode of Friends, "The one where Chandler takes a bath." Monica is able to create an atmosphere of relaxation with bath salts, aromatherapy, ambiance... But when Chandler tries to re-create this experience, his salts don't dissolve, the water isn't the right temperature. It's easy to overlook important details that can really make or break the experience.

Which brings me to my next point: There are different types of baths! Create the right conditions for your own personal needs. Here are some elements that can change the outcome of a self-care bath:

Elements of a Self-care Bath: Detoxifying and Relaxing

1) Water temperatures and application:

In general, hot/warm water in extended time periods (20-60 minutes) helps to relax the nervous system and your body. If you feel like you need help decompressing and getting to sleep, a hot bath is a great way to prep the body for bed.

If you're looking to invigorate your circulation and give yourself a bit of a "wake-up", follow that hot bath with 1-2 minutes of a cool/cold shower. The water doesn't need to be freezing, we're not looking to shock your system. We want it cold enough that it's a noticeable change from the bath, but not intolerable. For some individuals, even 30 seconds of cold water application is enough to change circulation, and at the least, the neck down should be exposed to the water.

Hot water tends to bring circulation to the surface, allowing your body to try to cool itself down. Whereas afterwards, if you apply cold water, you then force all of that warm blood back from your extremities and from the surface, back to central circulation.

2) Salts and Minerals:

Epsom salts, used externally, are a fantastic way of creating a mineral rich medium in which to soak your body. In particular, Epsom salts contain Magnesium sulfate. By soaking in this solution for 20-40 minutes, your body can absorb magnesium (and sulfates), which can act as a natural muscle relaxant. The trick is in adding the right amount of salts.

A full bathtub needs 2 full measured cups of Epsom salts. Other benefits of Epsom salts include a calming effect on the mind and nervous system, relaxing sore muscles and aches, and a detoxification effect on the body as it promotes pathways of elimination. Make sure to swish the salts around until they are fully dissolved into the water.

3) Oils (carrier/moisturizers and aromatherapy)

Oils are an excellent way of elevating the wellness aspect of your bath. Mix a handful of Epsom salts with some olive oil and rub gently over skin as a softener and exfoliator.
Essential oils can be added to the bath (just about 5-10 drops) as well for mood support and relaxation.

The Recipe for a perfect Detox-Relax Bath

We do a lot of detoxifying through our skin! Which is also why sweating can be beneficial and healthy. A detox bath can be accomplished just by using our Epsom salts, and by soaking for at least 30 minutes. The relaxation part will take a small amount of work on your part, to create the atmosphere you need. 

• First, you'll need to set up your bathroom: grab a big fluffy towel, light a few candles if you wish, brew a cup of tea or get a cup of lemon water to sip on while you're in the tub. 
• Try to eliminate distractions. Play relaxation instrumental music in the background, but avoid screens (tv, tablets, phones). Allow yourself this time just for you. It's your time to recharge - build up your Yin!
• Fill your tub with warm/hot water 
• Add 2 cups epsom salts, swished in bath and dissolved.
• Add 5-10 drops of essential oils
• Alternatively or additionally, you can add dried herb to your bath. 
• Add in calendula or chamomile flowers to help ease skin irritations, and ease an angry tummy; Add dried lavender if you don't have the essential oils on hand. 
• Note: I recommend cheesecloth to contain the flowers if you want to make clean-up easier in the end. You can use quite a bit of them, about 3-6 heaping tablespoons. 
• Soak and relax for at least 30 minutes. Up to 45 or 60 minutes if you're looking to relax more before bed. 
• Rinse off or just towel dry, making sure to be gentle on the skin. End with a slow gentle body massage with your favourite moisturizer or oil. Even if you don't have an extra set of hands to massage you, self-massage to apply a moisturizer will do just fine. 

5 New - and more creative - ways to Journal!

We frequently read about and are told how good journalling is for stress and anxiety. I'm a true believer in this, after all, this is how I started blogging. By not writing, I was anxious and felt like I had a lot bottled up. Not just emotions but words, ideas and thoughts.

You might call me a bookworm or a book and reading enthusiast, but not all of us are. We're not all writers, or even necessarily creative in a conventional way. But some of us do tend to get caught up in our heads. Maybe we spiral with our thoughts. Maybe they wake us in the night or prevent us from falling asleep in the first place. Maybe there's something we want to say to another person but we want to choose our words and our message very carefully. Journalling is one of the best ways to help guide us through these processes but when left with a blank page, sometimes our minds also go blank.

So in classic book-nerd fashion I spent a few hours at Chapters/Indigo in a euphoric state, falling in love with dozens of titles and books wanting to take all of them home with me. As a writer and a blogger, writing off the top of my head comes a bit easier, but there are times I want and need to be guided. I want my brain to be stimulated by an idea; Other times I need my brain to be more focused instead of wanting to explode with a hundred different thoughts.

I was so excited by what I found and wanted to share these amazing resources with you. So here are some unconventional ways to journal:

The 52 Lists Project is a book in which you will create a list for each week of the year. Each page will prompt you with different inspirations and ideas for making lists to help with your own self-discovery and expression. Some include listing your favourite movie characters, the best road trip songs, places you want to visit, etc.

Not only are you prompted with what to list, but it gives you the opportunity for self-reflection.











642 Things to Write About is a wonderful book and resource for those of us whom writing comes a bit easier, but still experience the dreaded writer's block. If you want to be creative without sharing your works with others, this is a great way to stretch out those writing muscles.















Wreck this Journal: A creative and very unconventional way to journal, this book will guide you through "exercises" and practices for literally wrecking the book. You might be instructed to rip out a page and crumple it, or spill some coffee on it.
It forces you to make mistakes and be content with imperfection. A great exercise for those who tend to
 perfection. You are given full permission to be messy, to break a book and make it look used.  And even better for those who will get a great sense of relief from the messy and somewhat destructive instructions instead of solely relying on journalling as a writing exercise.

What's even better is that Keri Smith's collection of "Wreck This Journal" is now up to 5 different books/journals.





Finish This Book, also (partially) written by Keri Smith, requires you to literally help her finish this book. Inside is a series of missions - if you should choose to accept them - with guided instructions.

This book takes the guess work out of the equation and all you need to do is follow her instructions, using your own words and creativity along the way.










The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook was just one of several workbooks found in the Well-being book section that uses Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques.  These types of workbooks are extremely helpful for helping you get to the root of any emotional and mental issues you're experiencing.

This book will guide you step-by-step to help you recognize your feelings and the experiences that accompany them. It will help you to identify your triggers for anxiety and stress, and teach you how to utilize stress management techniques.

Workbooks such as this are wonderful when you feel stuck or when you're struggling to overcome a specific or general type of stress.

Is a Type-A personality the new silent killer?

Working Hard
We all have to work at something: bettering ourselves, pushing our careers forward, investing in our relationships, building or "fixing" our homes, taking care of others to help them learn and grow, and reaching our own goals (in addition to making new ones). Sometimes it can be energetically or physically draining, but hard work can go a long way.

When we're just starting out in our careers it's important to keep busy and to put in the time. With anything, it's easy to sit around and do nothing - TOO EASY. Having that motivation and discipline to work hard at something is how we get ahead. Want to get into shape? It's not going to work if you decide to sit on the couch instead of moving your body. Want your business to soar? Having a Facebook page or website isn't enough, we have to hustle, we have to work on projects, make connections, get our names out there.

I wanted to bring awareness around overexerting ourselves. Many of us Type-A personalities love getting stuff done and controlling the organization of it all. We like the final "product" to be perfect, we create our own deadlines, and we can be competitive (either with outside competition or just ourselves).

Some of us really like staying busy. Maybe we work better with the pressure or get bored if there's nothing that needs our attention right away, so we seek more work.

It doesn't really sound bad, does it, being productive or overly productive? It's all in how we handle that much work and if we can achieve balance in our lives. For example, there have been some claims regarding the increased incidence of anxiety, increased stimulant use (including caffeine) and cardiovascular disease in those with Type A personalities. This isn't really far-fetched. We use coffee and other stimulants to keep us going everyday. Remember The Wolf of Wall Street? They used cocaine to wake them up and keep them sharp for such a high-pressure position.

Anxiety, Stress and Cortisol 
If we start feeling anxious about deadlines or time crunches, or if we're always in GO-GO-GO mode, this is where our health can start to suffer. Increased feelings of anxiety go hand-in-hand with the "fight-or-flight" response: it's your body's way of dealing with stress, and it's pretty awesome. We need this stress response, but if we are chronically in that state, our body can get tired from being "on guard" all the time.

Cortisol, the main hormone released in this stress response helps your body's efficiency for "fight-or-flight". Cortisol is also important for helping regulate blood sugar, blood pressure and your immune system. The idea is that cortisol comes in when you need it and then after the stressor is gone, the body recovers and is ready for the next "attack".

With chronic stress, we are constantly pumping out cortisol, so much so that our adrenal glands can't keep up with the demand. We also stop responding to those same amounts of cortisol. Your body wants the "fight" to be over so that it can repair, balance and be prepared for the next "attack". Without this recovery phase, it's very easy to experience Adrenal Fatigue (chronically low levels of cortisol).

Adrenal Fatigue and un-regulated cortisol can affect your sleep, blood pressure (feeling light-headed when you stand up), your mood, you may crave salt, feel tired (especially upon waking), have blood sugar crashes, brain fog, and get sick often.

When stress runs our lives, we can be more susceptible to cardiovascular disease, diabetes, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, infertility, menstrual dysregulation, hypothyroidism. Yes, that's right, your adrenal function is very closely related to your thyroid and sex hormone regulation!

You might feel great now. Maybe working really hard keeps your even more motivated and you feel super accomplished. Those 4-6 hours per night of sleep are enough for you and you're getting stuff done! But this won't always be the case. Our bodies always catch up with us and although you're functioning fine now, you may burn-out a few years down the road, or feel quite debilitated. This is often the pattern I see in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome patients: previously type-A personalities who after 10-20 years have completely burnt out and their body can't keep up anymore.

What's important is the balance: avoiding being overworked by allowing the body to recover. How can you do this?

• Set boundaries for work: This will look different for everyone but may include putting your phone away or not answering emails for 1-2 hours in the evening (or as soon as you walk in the door!). 
• Eat slowly and healthily: Don't eat on the go, or rush your meals. Take the time to enjoy your food. Anxious, stressed or rushed eating will impair digestion. When your body is handling stress it sends all its energy and focus to other places in your body - and away from your gut! Limiting consumption of sugar and processed foods will also help decrease inflammation in the body. 
• Limit or eliminate stimulants: Caffeine has been shown to increase cortisol; But you can't use what you don't have (see my post on why coffee might not be working for you). Caffeine can also promote or increase anxiety. 
• Get enough sleep! Your body needs to relax, recover and repair. 
• Supplement support: 1000mg of vitamin C per day can help support your adrenal glands. You can also talk to your naturopath about which adaptogens (botanicals that support adrenal function and cortisol) would be best for you.
• Give yourself time to relax: Yoga, non-cardio exercise, colouring, working puzzles, playing games, take a bath, get a massage. 
• Seek counselling: Sometimes it's nice just to talk to someone, to get things off your chest and to pick up new tools on how to manage stress. 
• Remember to breathe: Remind yourself throughout the day to take a few deep breaths. We tend to have very shallow breathing, especially when stressed. Take a nice big slow cleansing breath to relax the nervous system.

Washing off your day: how to change your whole attitude after a tough day

As a healthcare practitioner it's hard to come home without lingering thoughts and emotions from my day. Patients and their stories, their moods, they rub off on you. I used to take my days home with me. I'd walk through the door, start talking to my partner and he immediately recognized that something was off. I'd get easily annoyed, I was angry or upset and I'd snap. This wasn't a good thing.

It's hard not to take work home with you. It's even harder if you commute and you carry those frustrations with you on top of everything else. So I created a game plan - with some help of course.

I had to change my energy and change my routine. The first thing was to make it known that once I walk in that front door of the house, I will say hi but then I am NOT to get into any conversations until I've dealt with myself. I go straight upstairs and "wash my day off" myself.

You can take this literally or figuratively - or both! Here are things you can do to wash your day off and change your attitude after work:

1) Brush your teeth: if you talk all day, like me, you need to wash everything out of there. Have "clean words" and conversations for the rest of the evening

2) Brush the tangles out of your hair. Again, literally and figuratively: As I brush through my long hair, I'm brushing out all the "tangles" from the day. It's refreshing!

3) If you're on your feet most of the day: take off your socks, wash your feet in the tub, give yourself a quick little foot massage and then put on some fresh dry socks. Your feet will feel so good!

4) Change your clothes! You're wearing work clothes - take them off! This is the best time to change either into your comfiest clothes, or your "Super suit" (Clothes that are comfortable and that represent you. Putting these on make you feel empowered). Peel off the layers from the day and put on fresh new ones.

5) Wash your hands. Wash your day off of you. Some of you might want a full shower. That's cool. But if not, just wash your hands and imagine that you're washing off all the garbage and emotions from your whole day. Watch it run off your hands and down the sink. It's gone. You don't need to carry it around with you anymore.

Lastly, make sure you're giving your body what it needs. If you haven't eaten since lunch, have a snack in the afternoon or at the end of your workday so that you don't have a hypoglycemic crash by the time you come home. Drink a glass of water - rehydrate.

This also applies to anyone working from home. It's important to separate work from family. Taking just 10 minutes for yourself when you get home or finish work isn't that much and it can make a world of a difference!

Taking advantage of the outdoors

So it's October - my favourite time of year! Although I'm more partial to hot humid weather, I love the crispness of fall, cool breezes, trees rustling and of course LEAF CRUNCHING!

I'm pretty sure my body is fighting something because my internal temperature has been pretty messed up lately. I'm finding it rather enjoyable to sit outside on deck/balcony in the evenings which is pretty ridiculous for me, so to compensate I've been bundling up with blankets and slippers. It's the greatest thing next to running through the leaves.

We spend so much of our days indoors that it's depressing. The lecture theater in our school has absolutely no windows so we've spent most of our CCNM days in a room that reminds me of a very cold dungeon.

It's important to take advantage of the outdoors as much as possible. I know for my own sanity, I need to escape the "little boxes full of ticky tacky" and enjoy nature while there's still no snow on the ground and the overnight temperatures haven't hit freezing yet.

There's something so magical about the fall. This is why I drive 40 minutes to do my run. I've also been running a trail near my house (which requires no driving at all), but it's paved which makes me a little sad. When I'm running a dirt or grassy trail my whole body gets so bubbly! Every time my foot hits the ground it's like it's kissing the earth. My legs bounce like they're on clouds - such a different experience from running on a paved trail. Yes, my feet have more grip - but where's the fun in that? I want to jump over rocks and tree roots; I want to run through a blanket of yellow, orange and brown leaves. There's something so refreshing about leaving the city and enveloping yourself in nature.

As a bonus, I also encourage dewy grass walking. Yes okay, you could call it a "hippy" thing, but I love it. Just walk through dewy grass in your bare feet. It's liberating and grounding at the same time.

My point today is that our warm weather is limited. Soon the winter will be upon us which means freezing rain, snow storms, and WIND CHILL! Get out while you still can and enjoy the outdoors. Maybe it'll even keep the winter blues at bay just a little bit longer. And don't forget your vitamin D. So many of us are deficient here in North America, so as the days get shorter it's always a good idea to maintain your D levels with 1000IU per day.

So go get your daily dose of fresh air! Get outside! I know many of you might be gym rats, but try a workout outside: whether it's walking, cycling, running, kettle-bells, yoga, or just your dewy grass walking, get out there and breathe in some of nature's oxygen! And don't forget your leaf crunching! I love the sound and the feeling of a good crunchy leaf - just make sure to watch out for snails!

Setting boundaries: learning to say yes and no

Recently I wrote about saying yes to life. But today I wanted to address saying no. These past few weeks have been really draining on me. I'm not sure if my body is just fighting off the viruses that are being passed around right now, or if I've just hit my stress tolerance.

Either way, it doesn't matter. What does matter is what I'm doing right now. Ironically I'm giving a presentation today on Stress Management and Boundaries. Last night while trying to work on incorporating stress management techniques into the presentation outline, I crashed. I realized that having been in clinic since 8am, my body and mind couldn't take much more.

I fell asleep next to my notebook at 7:30pm; woke up abruptly when my boyfriend got home at 9pm and then after watching one of our favourite shows together, I was back asleep by 10pm, and didn't roll out of bed until almost 9am.

I knew that I needed to listen to my body and I totally realized just how badly I needed rest. I also knew when to say no. I said no to my work - even though my presentation was the next day, I couldn't give it the attention it deserved in that moment. I also knew that spending just the 40 minutes with my boyfriend was all I could do. He was all ready to stay up and watch a movie, but my priority was on rest.

It didn't bother me, having to say no, because I'd rather say no then be full of resentment.

I read a comment on Jacki Carr's twitter that said "Resentment is like drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die. Don't drink the poison."

If you say no to someone, what's the worst that could happen? Now ask yourself how likely it is that that situation will occur.

Sometimes we are so busy trying to do everything, and be everything for everyone else around us that we forget to think about what we need.

Remind yourself that it's okay to say no. Friends and family might be a bit ruffled for like 60 seconds, but they'll get over it. And then you'll realize that it was no big deal at all. They're still your friends and family, but you'll feel better knowing that you've taken care of yourself.

Fragile XX Syndrome

Yesterday I made a comment, telling my boyfriend I had taken care of something financially-related, and followed it with, "Aren't you proud of me?!"

It's the same question I asked when I mentioned last week that I hadn't had a breakdown over exams yet: "A whole week and I haven't had a breakdown yet! Aren't you proud of me?!"

So a male friend of mine asked, "Why do girls always ask if we're proud of them? Why do they want us to be proud of them?"

I had to think about it for a few minutes. I think, I just want to do things that make him happy. Not things that stunt my growth as a human and a girlfriend. Habits are hard to change, so when we do something new for someone else, it's a big deal!

There are many things that I'd rather just "sweep under the rug" than deal with, so it's an accomplishment when I actually deal with it. I haven't freaked out majorly over exams in over a week! That's HUGE for me.

I remember the first exam period we were together, my boyfriend actually had to give me glycine to me calm down from a panic attack. He mixed it in my water bottle, sat me down at a table with soup and told me to study while drinking my glycine water.

In fact, I've only had one real breakdown this week and it had nothing to do with exams... just with what I call "Fragile XX syndrome." (not to be confused with Fragile X syndrome: a genetic disorder affecting the mental status and social behaviour of males).

Fragile XX syndrome, also known as "Fragile lady"... aka "Girlfriend PMS".

Symptoms include: moments of emotional instability, bouts of uncontrollable crying, difficulty making decisions without getting upset, fatigue, snapping at boyfriends for no apparent reason, making arguments that make no sense whatsoever to anyone except the patient.

Naturopathic treatment: hugs, cuddles, chocolate, wine (of the red variety), smiles. The patient must be reassured that everything will be okay and that although she is acting crazy (don't use these words though, because it will make her condition worse), that you still love and care about her and that it's okay to get upset sometimes. Most importantly, although she is very independent, she will also appreciate being taken care of. Oh, and don't forget to feed her!

Supplement with puppy hugs, teddy bears, twilight turtle light therapy, Melissa tea, Himalayan salt rock therapy, back rubs and kisses.

Contraindications to treatment: yelling, driving in traffic, disagreements, schedules, appointments, people in public and low blood sugar.

Here's hoping that this last week goes well!

Change: it's not as scary as a T-rex, so why do I hate it so much?

I have finally come to terms with the fact that I hate change. I just don't handle it very well.

Every time Gmail or Facebook changes their layout, I cry a little. I get angry. I used to write letters to the customer service departments telling them that they should have left things the way they were. 

I was even thrown off when Food For Life changed the packaging of my gluten-free bread. And when I was being tested on giving B12 shots this week and I walked in the room to a Teaching Assistant who I had never seen in my life, my eyes started to tear up and I almost broke down.

So when I say that I hate change, it's an understatement. The bigger the change, the more intense my response is. So I'm trying to figure out what's so bad about it. I know it's not the end of the world. I know nothing terrible will happen to me. But maybe it's that "unknown." Something is not the way I know it to be, and now ANYTHING could happen.

I think that being in my CCNM school bubble, I'm under so much stress that I need some stability. Anything that's different could throw me off completely; and that bubble stops being my "safe house."

Ironically, right now I'm listening to "Be calm" by Fun. In an interview with Blake J Graham, Nate Ruess said that he wrote "Be Calm" in the shower while having a panic attack. The lyrics were his words of advice to himself; like his own therapy:
(source: http://theairspace.net/music/nate-ruess-interview-fun-truth-words-rhymes-notes/)

I know you feel like you are breaking down
I know that it gets so hard sometimes
Be calm

I feel like this is going to be my new mantra. Especially coming up onto my clinic entrance exams, I'm going to need many reminders to stay calm. I'm so exhausted from long-term stress (my poor adrenal glands!) that anything that challenges my body's stress response just sends me over the deep end.

There is something about the "unknown" that is scary and exciting at the same time. So why do I only see the scary side? Is this some evolutionary instinct? Maybe one day, a very long time ago, my ancestors went to fetch water, but the trail they had used for years and years was flooded! By a mudslide! So this one time they had to take a different route, and they walked right into a T-rex nest! And the mommy t-rex saw them (because back then they didn't know about the rule where you have to stay completely still around t-rex's to outsmart their terrible vision) and then the mommy t-rex ATE them! And maybe one of the kids in the family saw this and hid in the bushes and when he or she escaped, they vowed never to change their routine because it meant getting eaten by a dinosaur.

So now, all of my genes are messed up because of a sudden dinosaur attack and I'm scared of all change because it means I might get eaten alive. Okay, now that I've figured it out I feel a bit better. But I think I'll keep my new mantra, just in case.

Be calm.

In my head: "Who are you?! You mean Dr. Lewis won't be in my practical session to watch me do injections?!?"

(Recognize this scene from Jurassic Park? Yup, that's what my face looks like when something unexpected happens to me. This face, followed by tears...)

I would like to play an "EVERYONE JUST CALM THE F@$% DOWN" card

Okay, so you know how in soccer they have those yellow cards and at any time the ref can wave one or throw one down or hand it to someone? I'm pretty sure this is how it happens. I mean, I'm no soccer expert, but I swear I've seen referees with these cards and when they use them, it's a big freaking deal and everybody stops what they're doing to give attention to the card.

I also have one of these cards... it's between a yellow card and a red card and I like to call it the "EVERYONE JUST CALM THE F@$% DOWN! - card."  (Will refer to it as the EJCTFD card.) I also like to imagine that this card has Dumbledore's face on it. Because in times like these, I think Dumbledore could easily be elected as the spokesperson for calming the f@$% down.

You know when everyone is freaking out around you and it just gets to be so overwhelming? Maybe it's on the 401 when people are acting like idiots on the road, or honking for some absurd reason. I once saw a woman honking at a car in front of her that was stopped at a red light. As if she thought that the car in front of her had a traffic control panel with them and could change the light to green. I mean, seriously?! Calm the f@$% down lady.

www.guardian.co.uk

Man, just look at those guys in the photo to the left... that one guy in front looks like he's going to lose his mind. It's madness and chaos, but that referee says nothing and just holds up that card. Final answer.

I find that on the day of an exam the environment is just toxic in the school because everyone is stressed out, and they're all comparing notes and quizzing each other and I just want to scream and find a cave to hibernate in until it's all over.

Other times there might just be a really heated discussion going on within a group... too many people are talking at the same time, all trying to get their own opinion across, and nothing gets resolved.  

But usually it's just people who are angry at such little things. Yes, it's hard to see the big picture when something doesn't go your way, or something is maybe done unfairly, but at the same time do you really need to blow up around everyone else in the universe? Some people are happy and content and don't need an energy-sucking black hole of misery whizzing about. And that is the moment I would like to pull out my EJCTFD card.

We all need to be the referees in our own lives. If someone is taking too much from you (energetically, emotionally, etc), it's time to blow that whistle and give these people a time-out. I'm still learning about setting boundaries - and will continue to do so in clinic- but it's important not to let others drag you down.

It's always great to vent and get your emotions out, and on the other end, we need to have good listening ears; but where do we set the boundaries between helping someone and just being a dumping ground for them?

Maybe it's okay to have big rants but then we should take a deep breath and move on. Easier said than done though. Until then, I think I just need to be aware of those boundaries - be a great listener and a good friend, but recognize when people are taking advantage of the "energetic vulnerability" of myself and others. As well as recognize when it's necessary to remove myself from those situations (not as easy when you're stuck in your car on the highway).