When life's milestones cost gagillions of dollars

I'm at that point in my life where it seems everyone around me is getting married or having babies. Biologically this is the end of the "prime" time, so it's really no surprise. But I find that many of us get tired of the rituals associated with these milestones. We have showers (usually several- both wedding and baby), bachelor and bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners, and Stag and Doe's (the worst of them all).

Maybe that just applies to being in a bridal party. Because who really wants to spend a month's rent worth for a bride and groom just because you said you'd be a bridesmaid. It absolutely sucks. Not to mention the actual price of a wedding if you're the bride or groom.

Nowadays women are staying in school later, and therefore joining the workforce later. So how do you make it all work when you have no monies?

Seriously. I want to know.

But that's not my real beef today. I actually wanted to bring something to attention that often gets forgotten. We put so much effort into a wedding day, so why not give that kind of attention to your Birthing day? A wedding celebrates the beginning of a marriage, but the birth of your kid celebrates the beginning of their life and yours as a family.

I don't mean that so much in the financial sense, but in a symbolic sense. I believe a woman and her partner should be able to plan for their child's birth as you would plan for a wedding: as a special day in both of their lives. A wedding can be a huge production - in a materialistic show-y kind of way. A birthing day is a huge production in an organic human being sort of way. You seriously just produced a tiny human being and made your family 1 person bigger. That's a pretty big freaking deal!

It's one of my goals as a birth doula, to support mothers to make that day special, and not the dreaded account we see in movies and on TV. We've come so far in society to make giving birth a painful and uncomfortable situation. We joke around to pregnant mothers that "The pain's only going to get worse from here on out" and "You're practically going to be pushing a football through your lady parts." We tell them "Take the drugs! No one should have to go through that pain if you don't have to!"

Why do we build it up like it's the worst thing in the world? From what I've said above, it's like giving birth is equivalent to having all of your teeth pulled out. Who says it has to be that way? Why can't a woman be as comfortable as possible without having to get pain medication? Do you know how many tools we have at our disposal? How many relaxation techniques we have! I'm not saying that deep breathing is a pain killer, but it helps to tolerate the pain better. Stress can wreak havoc on our health, so why would it be any different when you're pregnant or are about to give birth?

What other species do you know gets hooked up to an IV, lies reclined and requires an epidural to give birth? Think of dogs! They have whole litters of puppies and no one gives a dog an epidural (I'm pretty sure anyways... that would be absurd.). There are certain circumstances where an epidural has it's place, but why not try to plan your pregnancy and birth to make it as special as a wedding day?

Have a plan, and have a back-up plan in case something medically concerning should happen. Make yourself comfortable. We all think that you have to go to the hospital to have a baby... but why? Something terrible isn't going to happen every time a woman gives birth. The Birth Doula who ran the workshop course this weekend said something that really hit the mark: give birth where you feel safe. A place that you can trust in. If you feel safer at home, give birth at home if you can. If you feel much safer going to a hospital, then go to the hospital. Either way, the point I want to make is to make sure you're comfortable. Bring things into the room that are comforting to you. Have music playing in the room if you like. Have people around you that make you feel safe. Remember and practice your relaxation techniques. Hire a birth doula! Know that you can ask questions. You are allowed to request the evidence that a certain medical intervention is best in your case. You are allowed to make decisions.

So you need help in making those big decisions? Ask about the risks, the benefits, and any alternatives. And lastly, please, please, please, don't put yourself in the mindset of a victim when it comes to having a baby. You are not a victim, you are a warrior and this is you and your partner's day. You deserve to experience childbirth in the way that you want. And it doesn't have to cost gagillions of dollars... though raising children in general usually does... 

Disclaimer: This is all within the limits of your health status. Any serious health risks may change your original birth plan, but your comfort and relaxation tools should always be available.

self care lecture vs. actual self care

So today we had a lecture on "Physician Heal Thyself" - which is basically self-care and stress management for us future NDs. The breakdown of the workshop actually looked amazing. However, this weekend I took a Birth Doula course/workshop (10-hour days both Saturday and Sunday), and at the end, getting through the last of the cottage traffic, I basically wanted to break down and cry from exhaustion.

And that's pretty much what I did. A good cry and some food and then I just wanted to pass out. I ended up sleeping in this morning - missing today's lecture. But I took today as my own self-care day.

I decided that sleep was so much more worth it. Not getting sleep can turn us into zombies. I mean, that's what happens to me... not sure what happens to the rest of you. Hence why I'm actually starting to take this whole "Zombie Apocalypse" thing a bit more seriously. Take the 2 million plus people in Toronto and deprive them all of sleep for more than 48 hours and see what happens. The city would be up in flames, people drowning in Lake Ontario, screaming and crying heard all the way across the boarder (slightly over-dramatic but also quite possible).

I had an epiphany this weekend during our lunch break at the doula course. I went outside to eat and looked around and all I could see were fast food restaurants and concrete. Everything, including the table I was sitting at, looked so fake. I have never felt more depressed about our society than at that moment when I realized that what was surrounding me looked like Ontario's Saftey Village.

For all of you in other provinces/countries, the Safety Village is this cute place that you go to in kindergarten to learn all about traffic safety. A police officer tells you what the green light and red lights mean; you get to drive around in a little motorized car, go to the fake gas station and drive through the fake McDonalds. It's a miniature fake city.

Then it hit me: I truly don't trust this world. I try to live in this bubble up above everyone else because I'm so afraid of the world we've created. Seeing what we've developed into actually makes me want to cry. So I tend to gravitate towards anything and everything natural in this world.

It explains my passion for naturopathic medicine, why I wanted to be a Birth Doula, why I want to live near water, why I try to eat as naturally (and paleo) as possible, why I'm so obsessed with working every muscle group I have and strengthening my body, and why I've become so interested in energetic medicine and the body-mind connection. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a hippie.

My self-care now has become focused on keeping me grounded to this earth. I mean, I'm still filled with anger but I'm learning how to manage it and how to learn from it.

Today I did go for a run - regardless of the disgusting humidity and 34 degree weather (that's 93 degrees for all of you Americans). Well, because it was so humid it ended up being a tough hike through the woods with some intermittent running, and by the end of it I saw something that made it all worth it:

I went down to the creek/river, threw off my running shoes and socks and upon finding a nice sitting rock threw my legs in the water. It was glOOORRious! I sat for a while, putting my hands into the water, looking up at the gorgeous blue sky and just listened to the the sound of the water.

Now... upon sitting for a while I did notice that my skin was a bit blotchy and itchy... kinda took away from this amazing moment I was having. I'm really hoping it's not poison ivy or some sort of epidermal Beaver Fever. Most likely it was just rashing from the sun and heat, but I'll keep you all updated if I've contracted some sort of new Canadian Wilderness allergy.

In the meantime, I may have skipped class, but I needed my own self-care and to ground myself - remind myself that I can trust the natural world. Other than tripping over some tree roots, it hasn't disappointed me yet. I can't change the entire world. I wish I could, but it's not realistic. I guess I can just teach what I know. And who knows... maybe there will actually be a zombie-ish apocalypse, destroying most of the world and I won't have to worry about the people who work for the evil corporations of the world. And I get it... our economy wouldn't exactly be the same if these big wigs just disappeared one day - but how about not feeding our cows corn. I don't care if it fattens them up... a cow eats grass and should be grazing in pasture. And maybe we should eliminate food additives and chemicals which essentially affect our brain cells, our hormones and are toxic in large doses. And maybe we shouldn't build any more condos until we can expand our transit system and manage our highways/transportation. Just a thought.

I mean, I'm a true believer in Karma. What's goes around comes around (as the great Justin Timberlake would say). If you're going to contribute to the destruction of our earth and of the people on it, be prepared for the universe to shove something ugly up your ass.  - sorry... that's my anger again. I really need to work on that.

Stress vs. Strain

Naturopathic med school can be a confusing endeavor. I find that half the time we're in tune with the body-mind connection. We believe in the healing power of nature. We counsel, we teach meditation techniques... I'm even starting to look into chakra healing.

The other part of us is a clinic doctor. We use our science backgrounds with the basis of biochemistry to develop nutritional plans. We make lists of differential diagnoses and use lab tests to rule out certain pathologies.

We're trained and educated in both aspects of health and well-being, but my current challenge is to incorporate both at the same time. So after having physical exams and pathologies drilled into my head this past year, I've decided to "re-educate" myself in the realm of spiritual healing from a stress and emotional point of view.

We always blame stress for all of our problems. You ask someone what's wrong, and automatically they say "I'm just stressed."

In reality, stress is a natural part of life. You think rabbits don't have stress? They're running from wolves and foxes! And the wolves and foxes are trying to chase down the rabbit so it can eat a decent meal! Imagine having to chase down your meal every time you wanted to eat.

So really, humans aren't the only ones that have stress, but like our animal friends, our bodies are built for it. Hence why our adrenal glands secrete cortisol. But there comes a time when we're under such constant stress that our adrenals can't keep up with us. They over-secrete cortisol to the point that they become "fatigued" and eventually "exhausted" and can no longer keep up with the demands of chronic stress.

So how do we prevent this exhaustion? In The Frontiers of Health, Christine Page brings up an excellent point of stress vs strain. We can't control all sources of stress in our lives, but we can learn to control our responses to it. Page explains that stress is a force applied to a substance, while strain is to be stretched beyond the "legitimate range".

When we take on too much work - beyond what we're capable of - we see the effects of strain. Thinking about that, it seems we're left more vulnerable when faced with strain on our bodies. We take on too much in our everyday lives and when we chronically go past our capacity, our bodies have a harder time dealing with it. This leaves us vulnerable to disease (or "dis-ease").

It's a good idea for us to check in with ourselves on a daily basis. How close are you to straining? Are you able to be faced with stress and handle it? Maybe you've taken on so much that you're starting to breakdown and crumble.

There's an exercise that we've been taught in clinic: The 5 minute check-in. At least once per day, lay down or sit with your feet grounded, eyes closed and ask yourself: "Body, what do you need?" Take at least 5 seconds and be in tune with your body. It could be the most basic of necessities. Maybe you need a glass of water. Maybe it's a hug, a snack/food, rest, or activity. Maybe you're a student stuck in a library and you just want to talk to someone, or scream or cry. Whatever it is, let your body speak to you and then give it what it needs, even if only for 5 minutes.

Take that 5 minutes and do what you need to do. Get a glass of water, eat something, put your feet up and rest for 5 whole minutes.

The more in-tune we are with our bodies and ourselves, the easier it will be to manage stress when it comes along; You'll be more prepared. Think of yourself like an army. You can't go into battle without resources. You need substance before you can perform in any battle. If you go in empty-handed, dehydrated and tired, you're more likely to falter.

Step 1 when dealing with stress: make sure you're getting the basic necessities. You might think you are, but check in with yourself at least once a day just to make sure.

The power of the puppy in healthcare

Puppies make everything better. Although this started as a joke on Scrubs, I've come to realize that it's true: I believe you can cure people with a box full of puppies.

My boyfriends parents picked up their new puppy yesterday and she's the cutest and most cuddly puppy. The playfulness is infectious. The fluffiness of her fur makes her the best cuddler, and she's part poodle so she can hug your arm with her paws.

A puppy who gives hugs... I'm not making this stuff up.

Sadie the puppy

So where does this all fit in our healthcare system? I've heard of people having dogs in hospitals to keep them company, and that it actually helps in their recovery. I don't know the science behind it, so let's work it out:

How puppies may cure people: The power of the puppy

1) Although they are much like babies or small children, they make excellent companions. I think my least favourite place in the whole world is a hospital. I hate the smell of hospitals; it's lonely. The rooms are bare except for the machines and wires. Having a furry companion would make the experience much more tolerable.

2) Although they are like small children, they can't talk back to you... or ask you a million questions. Yes, they may whine or bark in the night, but hang around a 3 year old for a day and tell me you're not sick and tired of coming up with answers to the question: "Why?"

3) Dogs are loyal in general. Have a dog hang around you for a bit. Then let them go play. The puppy, although curious, will always come back to you and will protect you. This is unlike cats who strut around like they own the place and will cuddle-cheat on you with other patients in the hospital.

4) Continuing with how protective dogs are, dogs will most likely save babies and children from any harm. They're smart like that. You must never let a cat go near the section of the hospital with small children or new babies. They will suffocate them by sitting on their heads, because that's what cats do.

5) Being around a cute fluffy puppy is infectiously bubbly. Seriously, try being in a bad mood around a puppy. They will detect the negativity and then give you puppy kisses until you laugh.

6) They are so happy to see you when you come home! (or when you wake up in the morning). Imagine having a "Welcome Home!" party every time you walk through your front door. Your loyal dog is waiting for you and shows his or her puppy excitement.

7) Puppies are warm. Not that you really need it during this heat wave; but if you're stuck with the air conditioning cranked up and are bundled under blankets to protect yourself from the unnatural frigid air, a puppy will sit on your lap and it's fluffy fur will keep you warm.

So really, I can't see the downside to having puppies be incorporated into our healthcare system. Just make sure to listen to Bob Barker when he says to have your pets spayed or neutered.

Getting through sluggish days

We all have those days where you don't feel like doing anything at all. You're already tired, or are maybe just lacking in motivation. With the wacky changes in weather this week, I'm feeling it in full force.

My options were to either A) move somewhere where it is sunny and blue skies all the time. I'm pretty sure this is a decent solution that would absolutely work if I could actually make it happen. Externship in California perhaps?
or B) Kick my my own butt to do something that will make me feel better while I'm stuck in humid, cloudy, rainy, disgustingly sticky Toronto.


So I decided to kick my butt and make myself workout. This is usually preceded by a small cup of coffee made with dark chocolate almond milk - I'm not even kidding on how delicious this is. So after that joyous cup of deliciousness I had the "self-talk". I have mental check-ins and give myself a pep talk.

What I tell myself is: It doesn't matter how much you put into today's workout. Take it easy. Don't worry about how much weight you're lifting. You don't have to lunge or squat as much as you normally do. Instead of your usual 90%, maybe only give 40-50% today. And that's fine, as long as you finish the workout.

So I get through the sluggish days by forcing myself to workout, but by lowering my expectations of the workout. If I go into a workout knowing that I can take it easy this time, my endurance is so much better - even with the fatigue. Of course, what I also recommend is having time to rest before and after exercise so that you don't deplete yourself any further. Take breaks, eat protein and fruit, drink lots of water. Replenish yourself.

But moving around for those 40 minutes and doing nice slow stretches after really helped to recharge my batteries and make sure I keep active even when not feeling the greatest. And my mood was improved dramatically.

This won't work for everyone (especially those with chronic fatigue or FM/ME), but for those of us who need less recovery time and really just need some extra motivation to keep going, give yourself a friendly kick in the butt when you know you need it.

My love/hate relationship with running

Today's running achievements:

1) I actually went running. Like outside and everything. In a forest.
2) I didn't get lost in the forest.
3) I didn't fall this time!

So all in all it's been a good morning. Let me backtrack a bit.

I have this love/hate relationship with running. Runners intimidate me. They're more intense then postal service workers. Why? Because they are so effing committed to running that they will go out in absurd weather like a freak hail storm... that turns into freezing rain... with wind gushing about, and they go out there just to run around. They're not running to anything or from anything, but merely practicing in case something comes up where they will need to run 10-20k without stopping and live to tell the tale.

So their intensity intimidates me. I like to run, but I don't by any means call myself a runner. But why does that stop so many of us from getting out there? You don't have to be a professional (or stuck in a maze with no memory- James Dashner reference) to run.

A friend of mine invited me out to run a few days ago through this awesome conservation area, and I love a good outdoor adventure, so I couldn't say no (especially since I was just going to workout indoors). It was a short run, but a run none-the-less. And I did fall, but that's to be expected when you add in the fact that I'm extremely clumsy and also that the forest is filled with tree roots that stick out of the ground.

Today was gorgeous outside so I decided to venture out on my own. I started at the same spot as last time, and I swear my inner bird/turtle senses kicked in and I was able to retrace the exact route through the forest trails without getting lost. This was unbelievable. Every time I came upon a landmark that I recognized, I felt a little ping of joy and relief that I wouldn't have to call Search-and-Rescue to come find me.

My 30 minute gallivant through the woods wasn't intense. I walked up the really steep hiking hills instead of running them. I took interval walking breaks when my lungs were burning like they had been sprayed with sulphuric acid. But I did the complete loop. And truthfully, the feeling afterwards when you've just completed a run is amazing.

Image from Friends. The one where Phoebe runs.

It actually makes the whole thing worth it. I mean, it's great to be out in nature, away from the people and the sounds of traffic. I could have easily just hiked the trails instead of running them. But sometimes you wanna feel like a kid again and just run for no apparent reason. Run like no one is watching you.

I hate running because I suck at it, by a runner's definition. Tomorrow my TFLs and IT bands will be sore and achy; and yes my lungs worked harder than ever to keep up to me, but at the same time I love running because it's movement. I get antsy and I need to go do something... work my muscles... burn some energies... strengthen muscles... breath fresh air and get sunshine on my skin.

Running might be a pain in the ass (and legs) for most of us, but it's nice to get out there every once in a while. You don't have to be a track star, a chronic jogger or a marathon runner to go outside and run. I've had days where I've gotten home from work/school and literally just went for a run around the block because I needed to move. And sometimes that amount is enough for me.

Looking back on this experience, the lesson is this: Don't be intimidated to move around, workout, or get any sort of physical exercise. There's no one to measure up to. Do only what you can physically do, but do something. Even if it's just walking for 20-30 minutes. And now that the weather is beautiful again, there's no better time to start.

Long time, no blog

They said that once you get into 4th year of the ND program and are in clinic that you have so much more free time than in previous years. Seeing as how I haven't blogged in forever, I don't know how true that statement actually is.

Truthfully, I'm not quite settled in my living situation (most of my stuff is in storage), so I really haven't had that "space" yet to sit and write. I'm always so worried about working on things for my patients that whenever I actually do have free time, I have to spend it outside and give my brain a break.

What I wanted to talk about today was the power of human kindness and of human emotions in general. Last week I was walking from the park to school and at the street lights it started raining. A young girl walked up to me and sheltered me with her umbrella. It was such a sweet gesture, especially as she walked with me all the way across the street (here in Toronto that means 7 traffic lanes) making sure I wouldn't get rained on. After wishing her a good day, I realized how infectious kindness really is.

When you're a dick to someone (often times it's in your car on the 401 highway), that asshole-ishness stews around you and infects everyone you encounter. Have you ever had someone cut you off or ride your tail while driving and it just puts you in the worst mood? Well the same principle goes for kindness: Good deeds and kind gestures fill you and others up with such a happy feeling.

Contrary to what Hugh Grant claims in About a Boy, no man is an island. Although sometimes I want to run away from this city and be away from the traffic and the buildings and the people, it's not possible to run away from all of it. We need each other in society  - and if we don't... well... we're stuck with each other. So what's the point of being an asshole all the time when you're stuck running into people everywhere you go? I think we need to start being more kind to one another.

When you're in your car, remember that you're not hidden by metal and glass. We're not cars, we're people. So when someone lets you merge into a lane of traffic, give them a little wave to show your appreciation.

It's fine to be selfish in times where you need to take care of yourself, but in general we need to realize that our actions -whether good or bad - affect EVERYONE around us in that same way.

Do something nice for a stranger. Hold the door open for them. Pay for their coffee. Smile (but not in a creepy way). Whatever little act of kindness that you can do, pay it forward and ask them to do the same.