Making changes part 3 - Say Yes to Love

In saying yes to love, I'm referring to love in all respects:

1) Love yourself,
2) Accept love from others, and
3) Fall in love with the universe

The first two are probably the hardest. Loving yourself goes hand-in-hand with finding joy in your life and wanting to take care of yourself. If you're having a difficult time with this one it's probably time to look a little deeper.

I read an interesting article on how childhood experiences and traumas can lead to chronic illness. This might bring up a lot for you, but if you can't find a way to love yourself, then that marks a great opportunity to talk to someone (a friend or family member and especially a health care professional, such as naturopathic doctor/intern). Discussing any issues with someone on the "outside" is a great way to get a different perspective and to find the barriers that are preventing you from loving and growing.

Being able to accept love from others also falls under this category. Like a protective wall that isolates you, the guard is up and maybe it's time to explore just what that wall is actually doing for you. Ask what you are protecting yourself from. What feelings come up? Again, this is all best to talk through with a professional who can guide you through this journey.

How amazing is it that these lions are spooning?!

Keep in mind that this isn't magic and that changes take time, but I commend anyone who goes out and seeks help - even if it's just to talk things out. I've been lucky enough in my life to have that support system through my own naturopathic interns at the college as well as from our amazing student counselor. I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy had I not had an outlet to get my thoughts and feelings out.

Fall in love with the universe:
I hate Toronto. I can't wait until the day that I can get out of this city. Away from the GTA, away from the 401 highway... I just can't stand big city life. But all of that aside, if someone were to drape a blanket over the whole city... if all the lights were extinguished and the sounds were silenced, you'd be left with a section of the planet, and you'd be able to see the sky and space above you.

Every so often, take a moment to appreciate our world. Seriously be grateful for all that we have. Be thankful for the stars, for the moon, for the way the sky lights up in pinks and purples while the sun sets. Be thankful for great bodies of freshwater. Appreciate all of the species that live in that water and for the circle of life that keeps all of those species procreating over decades. Fall in love with fresh farmed vegetables and appreciate farmers who properly take care of their animals, letting them graze in pasture and who decline to inject them with growth hormones and other fake atrocities.

Lastly, let me leave you with this: It's funny how we always turn to talking about the weather. It's a classic small-talk conversation, but maybe that's a reason for it. How amazing is it that our weather can be different every single day and we really don't have any control over it (not including global warming, but just in general). There's no button you can press that can stop the wind from blowing, or a rope you can pull to make the sun "stay in the sky" longer. If it starts raining... you're screwed. Or maybe you'll take a moment to have that perfect kiss in the rain.


The world is always better when it is filled with love and appreciation.

Klout ... it reminds me of a Scott Westerfeld novel

Has anyone else heard of Klout? It's like a social networking site that tracks how influential you are, based on your activity and responses in other social networking venues. This is all brand new information for me.

I just recently added myself to Klout and, surprisingly, I'm semi-addicted to checking my Klout scores every few days. And to be honest, I don't even know what it means. Yesterday I was a 49 today I'm a 50. Apparently Barack Obama is a 100 and Britney Spears is around 90-something. So really, I have no idea what my "50" actually means, but there's something about scores that are addicting.

It's like my blog. I LOVE checking the stats on my viewers and on the number of views I get. I'm still amazed at how many views I get from countries like Russia, Germany and the UK. It's amazing that I've reached so many people and I'm so grateful!

But there's something funny about this whole situation. It reminds me of a Scott Westerfeld novel. Specifically, "Extras" in which currency doesn't quite exist but is replaced by credits that you get for how influential and productive you are in society. Westerfeld's characters are obsessed with being influential over the internets. They kick stories and see how many people respond, going to incredible lengths to kick the best stories that will gather attention from the world.

Isn't that what we're doing? I mean, by blogging and by using something like Klout? Is there something that I'm missing here? Blogging for me is like having my own column in a newspaper or magazine. A place of writing-freedom. It's an author's dream. I'm grateful just to have an avenue in which to write, but to be able to influence others... there's something so powerful about that.

The thing about power though, is that people always want to harness it. And then exploit it. I really don't care to compare myself to Obama or Britney, but using Klout has me thinking... how far away is our reality from great science fiction novels?

Plastic surgery (or "surge") is already a reality. I myself having had my breast reduction am now considering laser eye surgery to correct my terrible vision. It's amazing what we can already do, but think of how close we are to other types of "surge". Also talking about Westerfeld's novel, we already have Maglev technology! I had no idea!

Most of the sci-fi novels that I read have a similar theme: what happens when humans fail and the earth can no longer support us. Sometimes I truly believe that James Dashner might not even be that far off. (Spoiler alert!) We develop a virus to control the population and it unpredictably mutates at an alarming rate... Sun flares hit the earth creating mass destruction... and the virus spreads like wildfire, embedding into our brains essentially turning anyone who isn't immune into a zombie-like being. Maybe a zombie apocalypse is a little far fetched, but setting an unpredictable virus on the loose sounds just like something our governments would do in desperate times.

I guess only time will tell. It's scary to think of where we're heading, and how infinite the possibilities are. How far will we go until we're exactly like a sci-fi novel? I think Westerfeld accurately captures the essence of human nature. His earlier novels like "Pretties" and "Specials" depicts how governments think, and what actions they take based on the actions taken against them. It's eye-opening when you see the similarities. Although they might seem like superficial books, his writing truly reveals so many levels of human thought and development.

If Y2K and the Mayans can't cause the end of the world, I'm pretty sure Disappointment won't either

We interrupt your life for Breaking News: Local school administration upsets students. Details after this...

Okay, so I know that I'm an extremely sensitive person. It doesn't take much for me to cry. Again, I think I may have mentioned that March of the Penguins had me going through half a box of Kleenex and anxiety can send me into a panic attack of palpitations and tears. But it's only been recently (past 2-3 years) that I've been able to identify it and to calm myself faster than in high school or undergrad.

So, the fact is, I had two satellite clinics that I had my heart set on working at and I was just too far down the selection list to get either of them. That was the moment I realized I'm not going to get a shift outside of the RSNC (our school's clinic). It truly isn't the end of the world, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset. I thought that this was a learning experience that would greatly benefit me and was told continuously "Make sure you get a satellite shift!!" So my initial response was heartbreak, and then panic and then some crying as I realized my clinic experience had just been chopped short.

It took me an hour to calm down and realize that this isn't a deal breaker for my career. It's unfortunate, but I had to understand the master plan. I wasn't meant to have that shift. It might sound absurd to some of you, but it's the truth. It's how I ended up at CCNM, so I'm taking this as another sign. Back in my undergrad years I dreamed of being a doctor and applied to traditional medical schools in Canada for 3 consecutive years, writing the MCAT each time. This stuff isn't cheap! I spent thousands of dollars on study materials, applications, exam fees and it was all just there to show me that I wasn't meant to be a traditional Medical doctor.

Because of that "rejection," I was able to see the big picture and find my true calling: to actually help people to heal, to use preventative medicine, and to teach others by becoming a naturopathic doctor.  But trust me, all of those rejection letters and shitty MCAT scores felt like a kick to the face each time... actually, like Joe Rogan kicking me in the face - and that's really saying something! 

The hardest thing was to realize that I didn't fail, I was being pushed in a different direction; the one I was meant to follow. So that's what I'm making of today's gong show that we call Day 1 of Clinic Shift Selection. I wasn't meant to go anywhere but the RSNC and I can deal with that.

As quoted by Tom Hanks' character Jimmy Dugan. One of my favourite movies. I have to remind myself of this often.

I see so many frustrated students out there who keep hitting a brick wall. Ones who are trying to get into one field and yet they are struck by that road block each time. It was so hard for me to learn this lesson, and I know that others have to learn it for themselves, but I found it necessary to share my story so that maybe we can all sit back and think "Okay, this CLEARLY isn't working out for me. There has to be a reason why! There has to be another way!"

If you keep hitting a brick wall over and over again, maybe it should be taken as a sign. Maybe it's not meant to be that particular way. I don't mean for you to not try something, or to give up on your dream, but if you've attempted something 3 or 4 times and it's still not working out for you, try to think about why it's not working. Find a different path to get from A to B. I'm still going to be a doctor, but I'm becoming the doctor that I was meant to be - not one who sees patients for 5 minutes and hands out prescriptions like candy on Halloween.

So, although our school's organization wasn't at it's best on this particular day, let's not get angry; let's deal with what we have and appreciate it. I'm not going to be a terrible doctor just because I won't be spending a semester working with Dr. Ladd or Dr. Gowan.

It's truly not the end of the world. The dinosaurs that are up in heaven are laughing at us right now. I'm pretty sure they wish they could all kick us in the face for being so dramatic about our lives. Or eat us.

For my own personal mission, I want to be more mindful and grateful for what I have. And I hope I can remember that the next time I feel heartbroken or disappointed.

So.. without [God] we'd have less Grammy winners and Superbowl champs?

I don't want to talk religion, but I've had this thought stuck in my head for a while. A friend of mine recently ranted about the fact that professional athletes thank god for their performance. In his mind it was ridiculous to give credit to some supreme being when athletes themselves do all the work. But do they? Do we? I kept my mouth shut at the time, because I really wanted to think about it... but that never ends well. It's been stewing in me for a while.

Can you think of many actors or singers/artists who don't thank God when they win an award? Or what about professional athletes - how many of them pray in the locker room or send a little shout out up to the sky when they get a touch down?

I personally have never scored a touchdown in football, nor have I ever won a (real) academy award (yes, I have given myself a couple artificial ones in the past), but when I'm in a rush and driving somewhere and I get a string of green lights, I do give a shout out to the Universe. I say thank you to the sky, as if the powers of the Universe are looking out for me. Just like I would get pissed off if I was late for something and hit every red light, or if the subway broke down. In those instances though, I usually look up and yell "Seriously?!?"

I said I'm not religious, but I do have faith in the universe. How can you not?! Have you seen even a fraction of our universe? It's incredible! There are giant rocks from space hitting our planet and you're telling me you don't believe in anything? Granted, I'm a science nerd at heart. Biology is my second language. But I was awoken this morning by a bright light shining on my face: There is a giant fireball-star bigger than any planet around us that I can see from my window. It's perfectly spherical made of magma and gases, it gives me vitamin D, it keeps me warm and is the perfect wake up call. We all take the Sun for granted at some time or another, but when you think about it, aren't you amazed at our universe?

I feel like we get so stuck in our day-to-day that we forget how incredible this planet is - and how HUGE is it. So I have to believe in something more. You don't. You can believe in whatever you want. But if someone feels like saying thank you - for anything - then I think that makes our planet and our species just a little more special and happier.

I truly believe that the more love and gratitude we send out, the more we receive. Maybe that's why Oscar winners always thank god, because god (or whatever they believe in) sends more right back to them.