How to be a socially-functioning Ochlophobic introvert

I have always been an introvert. I'm the type that wants my space but also hates being excluded. I also have Ochlophobia (fear of being surrounded by huge crowds of people). The anxiety is awful - like I'm being suffocated and I can't escape because gravity is keeping my feet glued to the earth's surface and no one around me thinks anything is wrong.  I like my alone time, my space. But it was never fulfilling enough. Once you hang round with certain people, you realize how amazing they are for you. They provide an energy and feelings that you can't get on your own. Be alone for too long and you become swallowed in loneliness.

I had to learn that we as humans are not islands. We can be temporary hermits or have our own little personal "getaways", but we can't live without each other. We need the connection. We need to share with each other, to learn from each other, to grow. We need to be touched - we need hugs! It releases hormones in us that send signals to our brains. (In childbirth we call Oxytocin the "cuddle hormone")

So how does a girl balance this without her brain blowing up? It's about the balance of energy. Being around the positive energy of people we love but also re-charging our batteries with that alone-time we crave.

1) Be social in small groups : No need to go clubbing downtown in huge crowds; hang out with your core group of friends or organize events in smaller groups. This is where we're most comfortable. Our good friends have made the cut. We know that they make us happy, we make each other laugh. It's an environment of positive energy. No need to mess with a good thing. And when someone new comes around, yeah, we like to put them through a screening process. We're cautious with new energy. That's okay too. Take a deep breath and observe.

2) Escape to nature when you need it: If you're living in the city or your workplace is busy, filled with busy-body people, spending an hour or two on a crowded streetcar or subway, make the time during the week to get outside in a non-populated area. Hike through a forest. Walk barefoot in a large grassy park, run through a meadow, sit and look out at a body open water (lake, ocean, stream - depending on where you live).

3) Look up at the stars at night and remember how ridiculously gigantic the universe is. Think of how much space is out there. Let those thoughts of wonderment make you appreciate life, everything you have and of not being alone in such a vast galaxy. The second point here is that being alone in the universe is not all its cracked up to be. Even the Doctor (as in Doctor Who) takes a companion with him.

4) Journaling and colouring: Start writing. Write down your thoughts, feelings. If you need an escape from this world and this reality, write fiction. No one needs to see it but you. Introverts are energy-protectors. But if we shelter ourselves too much and bottle up our emotions, we build a time-bomb within our selves. Best to get it all down on the page and out of our stewing heads. An alternative: Adult colouring books!

5) Call your mom. Sometimes we drift away from family. We get busy, we have our own lives; or maybe there's family tension. Either way, never lose connection with your mom (or any family member who means the world to you). When you feel like you don't want to be social but you need to hear a human voice, call your mom. It doesn't matter if you're 18 or 38, that lady will always be there for you. Or even better, drop by her house for a hug.

6) Practice your breathing. Deep, slow breathing can calm the nervous system. Breathing is more effective at controlling your nervous system and immune system than you think. (I'll be posting more on Wim Hof's incredible methods on a later blog).

7) Schedule alone time or alone activities as well as social ones: Your daily "to-do" list should always contain at least 1 item that is for your own sanity; An activity for stress relief, or fun, whatever. List things that you have to get done, as well as the ones you want to get done.

Paleo Coconut Lemongrass Shrimp

One of the many things that I love about my partner is that often times he'll go to the market/grocery store and come home with something that we've never cooked with before. This week it was lemongrass. We both love Thai food and we've seen lemongrass enough times to know it smells incredible and it tastes awesome in curry dishes; But we've never cooked with it (from scratch).

Seeing it in the fridge, I knew I had to do something with it. So I went to a few paleo recipe sites, picked one that sounded easy enough, and went to work.

Check out the link below for the recipe that I used as a base for my cooking last night - the author deserves credit - thanks "Steph"! However, the dish that I created looked absolutely NOTHING like this picture. There's something called "breaking the coconut milk" which I obviously didn't do so my "sauce" looked well, not silky smooth, but viscous and thick.

Not going to lie though, it was so delicious, I'd make it again in a heartbeat.
Here's the link, but check out below for my modified version of it: http://stupideasypaleo.com/2012/06/16/shrimp-in-coconut-broth/

Paleo Coconut Lemongrass Shrimp (makes 2 servings)

1 lb raw shrimp (with shells/not-peeled)
1 can of coconut cream (I used Blue Monkey coconut cream which is the best I have found so far!)
1/2 cup dry white wine or chicken broth
1 stalk of lemongrass, (chop off the top few inches, peel off the outer rind, then "bruise"/slightly crush the lemongrass with the flat surface of a chef's knife and slice it in half length-wise.)
1/2 tsp dried thyme
3 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced into halves or thirds
1 green chili pepper, chopped
1/3-1/2 cup chopped leeks
1 shallot, minced
1 1/2 cups stringless sugar snap peas 
1 tsp butter or ghee

NOTE: remove the seeds from the chili pepper if you only want a mild/medium spice. Otherwise, keeping all the seeds in will make this dish super spicy!

1.  Peel the shells off the shrimp and put them aside. Put the peeled shrimp in a bowl and rinse with cold water.  Set aside.
2. Place the coconut cream/milk in a large skillet. Add the shrimp shells, wine, lemongrass, thyme and garlic. Let simmer on medium heat for 10-15 minutes (shells should turn pink). 
3. Remove the shells (I used the back of a wooden spoon to squeeze out all the juices) and discard. 
4. Add the shallots, leeks, sugar snap peas. Cook on medium heat about 5 minutes. Then add the shrimp and continue cooking another 5 minutes or until shrimp is pink and cooked. 
5. Add the butter and stir. Remove the lemongrass and discard. 
6. Season with salt and pepper. Serve and enjoy!

Turning goals into values

I've been working a lot on goal-setting with clients (as well as on social media), but this is really just the beginning of the journey. Goal-setting is great. We should always be striving for something new, a greater achievement, greater learning, and overall improvement. But there comes a point where some of those goal-related activities integrate themselves into your life and if they were to disappear, you would miss them.

This is where intrinsic values come in. It's about doing something for your own pleasure; it makes you feel good about you.

I love running 10km races because of the experience:
I set a goal for myself: I want to run the whole race without slowing down beyond 6 minutes/km, and finishing around 55mins.

BUT! I also love the perks (extrinsic value): First, I get a medal and my running bib, which I proudly display on my wall after the race. Then there's the free T-shirt, the bag full of magazines, samples, and fun stuff.

After the race I usually recover for a few days, taking a break from running.

Truthfully, I could stop right there. It would be so easy just to not run anymore. I reached my goal. I had fun. I'm not planning another race anytime soon. So why keep going?

It's that little part of me that knows I'm a runner. I even run in my dreams. My happy place is when I'm running in the forest. It's my escape. I'm content, alone and totally happy in my own zone. And after I finish - I own that moment. It's mine and no one can take it from me.

That's where value comes in - the more intrinsic kind. I keep going - I get out there every chance I get because it makes me feel good. Do I care how fast I run? No. Do I care how much ground I cover? Not really. Do I meticulously monitor my heart rate, calories burned, steps taken? Definitely not. I stop caring about all that because they stop having meaning. When I'm not training for a race, it's just me and the forest (and most recently, Joe Rogan's voice in my head as I listen to a podcast). My feet on the dirt and the grass, my pace, my breath, and all my cares melt away.

Will I still work on achieving more? Absolutely. My next goal is to run a 15k or 1/2 marathon race, but for the time in between I can be easier on myself and just do what I love.

Find that peace. Find something that truly makes you happy and every once in a while, let the numbers and extrinsic values fade away. I love my medals and free t-shirts, but I love me more.

Weight loss and the hormone connection

It's very common for me to hear from a patient/client "I exercise and eat healthy, but I still can't lose weight!" There are 2 reasons why this happens: 1) the client doesn't understand what's causing them to retain the weight and hasn't changed their approach to fit their needs; 2) The expectations for fast results are too high.

We all want to look good and feel great right away. And it's no wonder! The media and advertisements that surround us enforce the idea that weight loss should be quick and easy so you can be happy fast! Some of the worst culprits are those with their before-and-after pictures and those that guarantee quick results - "lose 10 lbs in a week!"

So how realistic is it? Sure, if you're clinically obese or have a lot of water retention, it's very easy to lose 10 lbs in the first week of any lifestyle change. But that's just your body reacting to such a huge change to your established eating habits and the new demands of using muscles you probably haven't used in a long time. Healthy and sustained weight loss takes time. There's no other way around it.

Weight is just the mass of your body (in lbs or kg) x the force of gravity. Stop thinking about "weight loss" and start thinking about changing the composition of your body. Muscle is heavier than fat. Fat stores energy, muscle "burns" energy. Your goal should be to figure out how to get the best performance out of your body - make it run more efficiently. But there is so much that affects this!

It's combination of:

• Balancing multiple hormonal systems
• Assisting your body's natural detoxification (liver function)
• Giving your body the proper fuel, and in the required amounts
• Strengthening different aspects of functioning 
• muscle use/strength
• endurance/cardiac health
• optimizing oxygen use/breathing

Hormones:
Why do we collect fat on ourselves? It's preservation. We store fat like a backup generator. If your body has been through enough stressful "disasters" it learns that it should keep some resources on hand. Even if your "disaster" is just chronic stress from family or work.

Keeping constant high cortisol levels in the body is enough to tell it to keep the bunker stocked and ready! If you're constantly stressed out, or doing solely long cardio exercise, your cortisol levels are more consistently elevated as opposed to following a normal cortisol curve - which regulates your sleep-wake cycle in addition to so much more. Ever tried to do 30-60 minutes of cardio late at night? Did you notice having a hard time falling asleep?

Excess estrogen can wreak havoc with mood (irritability), cravings, fatigue, and abdominal fat gain. Thyroid hormones affect your metabolism and help regulate mood, heart rate, cholesterol (which makes other hormones!), energy and so much more.

The take-home message is that it's not ever one or the other. All of these hormones are connected and affect each other. For example, a high cortisol level over a sustained period of time can affect your thyroid. It will also eventually deplete your adrenal glands which have been pumping out cortisol for you like crazy for way too long. This is what we call "adrenal exhaustion": morning fatigue, decreased recovery from exercise, low blood sugar and burn out - this also eats up your DHEA levels, important for the production of estrogen and testosterone.

Is it any wonder why people are having such a hard time losing weight?

Working with your naturopathic doctor and healthcare team can help you figure out where the imbalance is, how to correct it and then to develop a proper nutrition and lifestyle plan to make your body run efficiently. This doesn't just mean "eating healthy" but actually ensuring proper caloric intake, optimal protein intake and absorption (ESPECIALLY for vegans and vegetarians), and timing of fuel, in addition to many other lifestyle factors.

hyroid hormones regulate our metabolism and organ function. They directly affect heart rate, cholesterol levels, body weight, energy, muscle contraction and relaxation, skin and hair texture, bowel function, fertility, menstrual regularity, memory, mood and other bodily functions. Without enough thyroid hormone, every system in the body slows down. Those who suffer from hypothyroidism feel tired and tend to sleep a lot. Their digestion is slow and weight gain typically occurs. They can also experience extremely dry skin, hair loss, even slower mental processes. In fact, without enough thyroid hormone, attaining your perfect weight is almost impossible. - See more at: http://drnatashaturner.com/4-week-thyroid-boosting-plan-seen-marilyn-denis/#sthash.GkuXxnVa.dpuf

hyroid hormones regulate our metabolism and organ function. They directly affect heart rate, cholesterol levels, body weight, energy, muscle contraction and relaxation, skin and hair texture, bowel function, fertility, menstrual regularity, memory, mood and other bodily functions. Without enough thyroid hormone, every system in the body slows down. Those who suffer from hypothyroidism feel tired and tend to sleep a lot. Their digestion is slow and weight gain typically occurs. They can also experience extremely dry skin, hair loss, even slower mental processes. In fact, without enough thyroid hormone, attaining your perfect weight is almost impossible. - See more at: http://drnatashaturner.com/4-week-thyroid-boosting-plan-seen-marilyn-denis/#sthash.GkuXxnVa.dpuf

My favourite "feel better" tea

I had the misfortune of contracting a head cold with major sinus pressure and headache this week. As soon as my throat was getting raw and my face was painful to touch, I had a mini panic moment that I might be getting the same terrible sinus infection that I had last year, one that lasted well over a week.

I decided to act quick; to get ahead of body and ramp up my immune system so that I could get back to life. The difference it made? I prevented a secondary bacterial infection unlike last year. And unlike my last illness, I was able to rid the cold in 3 days vs. the 10 it took me last year and the 14 it took me the winter previous.

Apart from my supplements and a botanical tincture full of echinacea, what really helped pull me through it was my favourite "sick" tea:
2 parts ginger tea, 1 part lemon myrtle, plus 1 tsp honey.

Don't have any ginger tea or lemon myrtle in the house? Dig up the ginger out of your freezer (which is the best place to store it) and make it from scratch:

1. Remove the "skin" from the ginger and thinly slice the ginger. You'll need about 1/4 -1/3 cup for a pot of water (~ 3 cups)
2. Slice a lemon into about 4 slices
3. Meanwhile, have a pot of water on the stove and bring to boil
4. Add the ginger and lemon (you can give the lemon a little squeeze before dropping it in). Optional: add a stick or two of cinnamon and/or a few cloves.
5. Simmer on low heat, covered, for 20-30 minutes. 
6. Remove from heat and pour liquid into your mug. Add 1 tsp of honey and enjoy. 

It's warm, delicious and will also help resolve any nausea. For me, it's comfort tea. It's also amazing in the winter on those frigid cold days - definitely add the cinnamon and cloves!

The love/hate with menstrual cups and why you should say goodbye to tampons

When I first heard about the Diva Cup I was really taken aback - What? You put a cup in you and it collects your menstrual flow?!  This concept was truly weird to me, especially in a culture where we're told how happy we will be using tampons with braids so that we can run and jump in the air as often as we like.

Don't get me wrong, I love running and jumping, but there were downsides to tampons that no one really told me about. We're well aware of toxic shock syndrome: You leave an absorbent material internally, it absorbs moisture, it sits there, bacteria grow, bacteria start "shooting out" toxins (so-to-speak) and your body goes into a toxic shock. Bad news bears. But I never really thought about how the "absorbing" part really affected my body.

The vaginal canal is lined with healthy mucous. It's a natural lubricant produced with the help of estrogen to keep the area moist. It also acts as a "vagina cleaner" by carrying away bad bacteria and allowing good healthy bacteria to flourish. Your tampon, although it absorbs your menstrual flow, is also taking up a lot of space internally, and while there, absorbs your normal vaginal mucous. So the loss of that great mucous can mess up the bacterial flora and your vaginal pH (which helps prevent infections!).

So now what? You can use pads; they make for a healthier vagina, but many women hate dealing with "the mess". Well-known brands often use bleaches, synthetic fibers and chemicals/additives which make them super absorbent, but they are in constant contact with your lady parts which can potentially take up the chemicals and additives.

Your best option would be a 100% cotton pad like Natracare or Organyc. They're less irritating than conventional pads for both regular menstrual use and postpartum when that area is particularly sensitive.

Another great option is the menstrual cup. I personally am a Diva Cup user, and if there's one thing I've learned it's that women either love it or hate it:

The Pros:

• No waste! You're saving landfills by keeping your cup in good shape.
• With good care, it can last up to 10 years. This means cleaning it with a gentle fragrance-free cleanser (or Diva Wash) after each emptying, and boiling in water for 5 minutes at the end of your period.  
• You can monitor your bleeding. You can measure the volume of flow, the colour, clots, etc. This can reveal a lot of information about your cycles, which your naturopathic doctor can help you with. 
• You can run, jump, swim with it in and never even know it's there. Swimming becomes more enjoyable when you're not worried about strings showing.
• You don't feel it. When inserted and positioned correctly, you shouldn't feel it. It also shouldn't leak, unlike most tampons.
• You only need to worry about "changing" it twice per day (with normal bleeding volume). Empty once in the morning and again before bed. No worrying about changing pads and tampons throughout the day. 

The Cons:

• It only comes in 2 sizes so many women found that it just wasn't a good fit for them. This may be because of differences in a woman's anatomical structure, or due to the position in which the cup is inserted.  
• If you suffer from major dysmenorrhea (painful periods) the added internal pressure of an object close to the cervix may increase cramping/pain.
• If you have really heavy periods, there is a chance it can overflow.
• Because you have an object inserted, there is added pressure on surrounding structures. You might notice that your urine is flowing a little slower than normal. 
• Be aware of it during a bowel movement. The same muscles that help with bearing down vaginally also help with bearing down for a bowel movement. When you're in the bathroom, beware that the cup might be pushed down and may need to be readjusted. 
• Yes, you have to empty it into your toilet and then clean it in the sink. Some women hate this part of it. But you should only have to do this 2x per day. 

Every woman should find the menstrual method that works best for them. I love my menstrual cup but realize it's not for everyone. We all deserve a happy, healthy vagina, so listen to your body. 

Farmer's Market meals

One of my favourite things about June is the start of the Farmer's Market. I've been helping with our clinic's booth at Fairmount park in Toronto (details HERE) and it has easily become the best day of the week!

The fresh fruit and vegetables are always enticing, especially when the farmers cut the grown sprouts right in front of you. Many vendors have gluten-free and vegan food options ranging from cookies and nanaimo bars to spinach lentil curry with rice. The coordinators and other vendors are some of the nicest people I've met and there's a true sense of community all around.

So how do you make a meal using farm fresh ingredients? Or how do you improvise a meal with very few ingredients? Well, knowing I'd be starving after a long day and a nice evening run, I grabbed a few items totaling $20:

Bag of arugula
Bag of sunflower sprouts
6 Hot Turkey pepperettes
and a bundle of multi-coloured tomatoes

When I got home I rinsed the greens and put them in a bowl. On top I added:
one ripe yellow tomato, chopped
1.5 turkey pepperettes, chopped
Some fresh basil and a few blueberries

The dressing:
About 2 tbsp Extra virgin olive oil
Juice of 1/2 a lemon
a splash of orange juice
1 tsp honey
salt and pepper to taste

The salad turned out great! Light enough for the end of the night, but filling enough that my tummy is happy. The only thing I'd change would be blueberries. The other flavours went great together. And the best part is that I still have so much left over. I guess we'll see what next week brings and what new combo I'll put together :)